Always on My Mind
by Luisa
Summary: The gang has moved to Cleveland, rebuilt their lives, made new friends and are generally doing good when an innocent request is made that unexpectedly leads to so much more.
1. Prologue

Title: Always on My Mind Author: Luisa Email: Pairing: Giles/Dawn friendship, Giles/Buffy smoochies Rating: PG-13 rising to a light 'R' at the end Timeline: Couple years after "Chosen" S7. (Future Fic)  
Distribution: Dword, Dee, TL... all my usual archives. Anyone else, who wants it, just let me know where!  
Summary: The gang has moved to Cleveland, rebuilt their lives, made new friends and are generally doing good when an innocent request is made that unexpectedly leads to so much more. My response To Gileswench's "Music Lesson" Challenge (#42) on BGWM. Spoilers: Pretty much everything.  
Disclaimer: Not mine although I wish they were. The ingenious invention of the Buffy-Verse belongs to Joss, Fox, ME and co. All extra characters and places are straight from my imagination. "Always on My Mind" has Elvis written all over it - no matter what anyone else says. "What If" belongs to Kate Winslet, "Love me Do" is by the Beatles and "I Will Always Love You" is by Dolly Parton.  
Feedback: it's like oxygen.  
Notes: 1) Emphasis Thoughts 2) Please make sure you read the summary above to understand the setting; otherwise some characters may seem a little ooc.  
Thanks: I completely blame... err, I mean thank (I think) Da Wench for the inspiration. Thanks also to Donna, Koala and Angela for your constant encouragement, Sarah for keeping America, 'American'... Sweetdoggie for keeping the characters 'in character', JH for directing me to a 'virtual' Monopoly (R) board and most of all, huge thanks goes to Karesia for the fantastic beta.  
Dedication: To my 'Yoda' - I know you've had a pretty rough year, sweetie - so here's sending lots of hugs and B/G goodness and hoping that next year is much, much better! x

Prologue

"Giles..."

The young woman smiled as she realised her voice went unheard.

"Hey, Giles..."

Still there was no response. She tried once more, her voice a little louder this time.

"Giles... would you do me a favour...?"

Her soft request barely registering in his mind, the man in question continued in his reading until a movement off to his left caught his eye.

"Hello... earth to Giles..."

He lifted his head and turned to see a slim brunette waving at him from where she leaned against the door jamb.

"Dawn." A gentle smile formed on his lips and he beckoned her over. "What can I do for you?"

Perching on the edge of the armchair he occupied, she peered over his shoulder, saving her reply for later.

"What're you reading?"

In silent reply, he carefully marked his place before closing the book to show the teen the cover.

"Eww. 'One Hundred and One Ways to Cook a Rabbit'? Giles, that's worse than reading about demon sacrifices."

He chuckled at her clear disapproval for his choice of reading material, before explaining himself. "Ellen and Christopher are going to the country do some hunting - you know how they are - and they insisted upon bringing back some 'fresh' meat for us when they return. I couldn't very well say 'no', now, could I?"

Dawn simply looked at him, horrified. "You mean, we're gonna have to eat an innocent bunny?"

Giles grinned. "Like, I said, we don't have a choice. They are our neighbours after all, and I'm fairly certain they'd be offended if we refused them. Although..." He wrapped an arm around her small waist and pulled her toward him, so that he could whisper conspiratorially into her ear, "I could always cook you something different. We just won't tell Buffy... or any of the others." He chuckled at his own deviousness. "After all, I hear that rabbit is supposed to taste like chicken..." he let his sentence trail off, but picked it up again when Dawn looked at him blankly. "I'm sure they won't know the difference, as long as they have food on their plates."

"Giles!" Dawn tried to sound shocked, but failed and ended up giggling instead. "Okay, I won't tell them if you won't."

He grinned again and patted her knee affectionately.

"It's a deal. Now..." he moved the book onto the free arm of the chair while Dawn righted herself on the other. When they were both done, he continued. "What was it you wanted?"

"Oh. Yeah. Umm... I need some help." She beamed at him again, hoping to win him over with her charm.

He gave an answering smile as he prompted her. "About?"

"It's stupid. Robin-" she hastily corrected herself, "I mean, Principal Wood is making our grade put on this cabaret sort of thing, and-" she stopped as she saw Giles' eyes twinkle in silent mirth. "What?"

"Oh, nothing." Giles kept his voice neutral despite the smile still in his eyes, "Do go on."

"Oh, fine. Okay, I admit, it's not entirely his fault... it's the stupid school's. You know what? They should have told us this was forced on students when I signed up. Anyway... everyone in our grade has to do something. 'Everyone', meaning me." She groaned dramatically at having to admit it out loud. Reluctantly accepting her fate, the teenager continued. "But with this being a hellmouth and all, it's not an ordinary show we're putting on. Oh no. First of all, it's Elvis-themed so we've all got to wear these stupid costumes and sing stupid songs... and then, if that's not bad enough, everyone who's taking part - meaning me -" she added again, unnecessarily, "Has to learn an instrument."

"Ah." Giles was nodding his head wisely, the teasing sparkle still evident in his expression. "I see."

"What? What do you see?"

"I see a young woman being forced to do something educational and therefore something she doesn't want to do; so she decides to drag her guardian along for the ride.... so that instead of suffering alone, we can suffer together."

"What do you...? Hey!"

Dawn slipped a hand between them to jab him in the ribs, grinning as he grimaced.

"So, does that mean you'll do it?"

"Not if you carry on like that," he growled. "Maybe you should ask nicely."

"Sorry, Giles. I keep forgetting how old..." her voice trailed off at his glare and a faint blush stained her cheeks. "Guess I'm not doing very well, here," she reprimanded herself, before throwing an arm around Giles' shoulders and flashing a winning smile at him once more. "What I mean to say is... I would really appreciate it, when you have the time, if you would teach me how to play the guitar. You're so talented... I can't think of anyone else I'd rather learn from. You're like... the 'Yoda' of guitar-playing."

He chuckled at her enthusiasm. "After such a compliment, how can I say 'no'?"

Bouncing on the worn leather, Dawn emitted a high-pitch squeal of happiness before tightening her arms about him and planted a firm kiss of gratitude on his crown. "Thank you, thank you, and thank you!"

"Oxygen!" Was the only hoarse reply that Giles could manage.

"Oops! Sorry." With an apologetic smile, she drew back and stood up. "Seriously though, Giles. Thanks. You're the best." She blew another kiss of appreciation in his direction before skipping out of the room.

"Oh dear lord." It was a phrase that he didn't use so much these days, but Giles felt that this particular situation required it and he groaned it again as he sank into the seat. "Whatever have I got myself into this time?"

Lifting a silent prayer for patience to whomever might be listening, Giles let out a deep, troubled sigh.


	2. Part One

Title: Always on My Mind Author: Luisa Email: Pairing: Giles/Dawn friendship, Giles/Buffy smoochies Rating: PG-13 rising to a light 'R' at the end Disclaimer: Not mine although I wish they were. The ingenious invention of the Buffy-Verse belongs to Joss, Fox, ME and co. All extra characters and places are straight from my imagination. "Always on My Mind" has Elvis written all over it - no matter what anyone else says. "What If" belongs to Kate Winslet, "Love me Do" is by the Beatles and "I Will Always Love You" is by Dolly Parton.  
Feedback: it's like oxygen.........

Part One

The bell hanging over the door of 'Symphony of Sound' jangled merrily as Giles stepped inside, Dawn following close behind in full babble-mode.

"Are you sure this is such good idea, Giles? I mean, I don't want to waste all my money buying something I'll only use once..."

For a moment, Giles was glad that Dawn was trailing behind him so that she couldn't see the wide grin stretching across his face. "That's very mature of you, Dawn." A small chuckle escaped, and he couldn't help but cheekily add, "After all, it's not as if you had intended to do so anyway, is it? Those shoes you were saving for were for everyday use, weren't they?"

"Alright... alright. Point made smart-ass." She continued to grumble good-naturedly as they picked their way past the racks of sheet music to the instrument display at the back of the shop.

"Anyway," Giles stated as they passed the brass instrument section, "it's not as if you're actually buying a guitar, you know. The hire scheme is perfectly suited for our needs."

"But Giles..." Dawn caught herself mere seconds before her words became a whine, although the pout in her voice could still be heard as she muttered away half-to-herself. "I still don't see why we couldn't have just used yours."

Giles stopped mid-stride, pinching the bridge of his nose in barely-concealed irritation while he counted silently to ten. Eventually, he emitted a soft sigh and turned to face his charge. "Think of your favourite pen, Dawn... the purple one with the silver sparkles that you never, ever lend to anyone... not even Kimberly. Why do you do that? Is it because you're afraid she might lose it? Or that she'll chew the end? Or snap the clip? Or worse still, damage the nib so that it doesn't write like it used to?"

She gave a small nod, sensing where this was going. "All of the above."

"Well, then. Now magnify that into something less easily replaced, more personal and, by far, more expensive. You see, Dawn, a musician's instrument is much like a writer's pen - or an artist's paints. Each instrument is unique to the individual... the sound, the feel..."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Like Harry's wand." Dawn grinned as Giles blinked in confusion.

"Harry...?"

"I believe she's referring to Harry Potter, my friend."

Giles whirled as a familiar voice sounded behind him before he was drawn into a warm embrace.

"Rupert! It's so good to see you again." The aging gentleman grinned affectionately as he released the Englishman. "You know, you had me worried for a while, there. When Robin told me you were in the hospital, I was afraid it was serious."

Giles allowed himself to smile softly at the other man's concern. "It was only a concussion. They just wanted to keep me in for surveillance."

"Still... you can't fault me for worrying. I was under the impression you'd walk though fire in order to be on the doorstep first thing for the music delivery."

Giles let out a hearty laugh, sending Dawn's eyebrows skywards. It was rare to see him so exhilarant.

"I wouldn't go that far. Although, while I'm here, would you mind...?" Giles winked, inclining his head toward the back room, where he knew his delivery would be awaiting his attentions.

"Not at all. But first..." The other man changed the subject in the space of a heartbeat, letting his gaze rest on Dawn, who was staring at him with undisguised curiosity. "You must be Dawn."

Her eyes widened even as she hesitantly shook his proffered hand. "How did you...?"

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry; I forgot that you hadn't met." A faint pink tinged Giles' neck by way of apology as he made the necessary introductions. "Dawn, this is Mister Andrews. As you may have guessed, he owns this store... and he has become a good friend. David, this is Dawn Summers, whom I spoke of this morning."

"Just as I thought." The other man nodded his head and gave the teen a warm smile. "So, young lady, I understand you're looking for a guitar. Hmm..." There was a period of silence while David absently stroked his chin, taking in her slender form as he considered his stock. Eventually, he cleared his throat and spoke once more. "Why don't you two come with me?" Without waiting for an answer, he turned and walked toward the rear of the store, still chatting amiably over his shoulder. "I know just the thing. Trust me on this, it'll be perfect."

In companionable silence, Giles and Dawn allowed him to lead them toward a display of various classical, acoustic and electric guitars, complete with accessories and watched as he honed in on a pretty, not-quite-full-sized, Spruce guitar.

"May I?"

David wordlessly nodded at Giles' request and handed him the guitar, listening in appreciation as the Englishman fine-tuned the strings, before plucking out a soft melody.

"Yes," Giles softly murmured, running his hand over the smooth veneers of the wood. "I should think this would be fine." He looked up at the other man, deep respect for his friend radiating from his eyes. "How you do that is beyond me. You always seem to know which instrument will suit the customer." He chuckled softly. "I bow in awe of your superior knowledge and talent."

"Me? Talent?" David joined in the laughter, his piercing blue eyes twinkling with amusement at Giles' modesty. "Oh, no... that's no gifting... just the result of years of practice. You, on the other hand, are the personification of true talent. I could never play like you, my friend. Never, in a million years."

Giles opened his mouth, intent on denying the compliment, until a cool hand on his bare forearm stopped him. He glanced down to see the youngest Summers sister grinning at him while addressing David.

"He really appreciates your kind words, Mister Andrews... although he'd never admit it."

Again, David burst into laughter while Giles just glared at Dawn. Unfazed, she smiled brightly back at him, deciding that she liked Giles' new friend. "So... are we gonna rent it, or not?" She reached out a hand and ran a single finger lightly over the steel strings.

"Yes." His glare softened as he answered her. "We are. David," he turned and placed the guitar in the waiting hands of the older man as he spoke, "would you happen to have a soft case that we could rent as well? Oh, and if we could have a capo and an assortment of plectrums while you're at it, that would be lovely."

"No problem at all." David was still smiling as he walked to the backroom. With one hand clasping the neck of the guitar and the other on the door handle, he was halfway through the archway when Giles' voice called to him across the shop-floor.

"Don't forget my-"

"Music. I won't." David turned and winked once more at Giles, before resuming the task at hand.


	3. Part Two

Title: Always on My Mind Author: Luisa Email: Pairing: Giles/Dawn friendship, Giles/Buffy smoochies Rating: PG-13 rising to a light 'R' at the end Disclaimer: Not mine although I wish they were. The ingenious invention of the Buffy-Verse belongs to Joss, Fox, ME and co. All extra characters and places are straight from my imagination. "Always on My Mind" has Elvis written all over it - no matter what anyone else says. "What If" belongs to Kate Winslet, "Love me Do" is by the Beatles and "I Will Always Love You" is by Dolly Parton.  
Feedback: it's like oxygen.........

Part Two

"Oh my god! I can't believe you bought that!"

"Yes, you've said - no, squealed - that three times already, Dawn."

"I know, but..." She clamped a hand to keep a giggle from escaping. "It's just..." Her muffled words sounded like they were balancing on the tip of hysteria. "It's so not you." Her hand slipped as a loud guffaw broke loose of its own accord. "I'm sorry Giles, but it's just... it's so... you know, Buffy would have a field day with that." She burst into a fresh round of giggles.

Unimpressed, Giles could only frown at her. "Firstly, Buffy will not find out about this - and secondly, would you mind telling me what's so funny?"

"N-nothing." She hiccoughed, mid-giggle.

"Dawn."

"O-okay. It's just that... well... you're not really the lovey-dovey type, are you? I can't really picture you singing love songs... especially not from the movies... well, twenty-first century movies, anyway." The half-grin that was forming on her lips diedas she saw annoyance flicker in his eyes.

"And why would that be? Hmm? I'll have you know, Dawn Summers, that not only do I see the occasional film on television - and in the cinema - I also read music, which helps tremendously."

"But I don't get it." Amusement gave way to bewilderment in Dawn's gentle voice. "Why would you want to sing this stuff, anyway? Why not just sing your normal... you know... Stones and Beatles stuff... or whatever it is you sing."

An affectionate smile broke through Giles' frown. "Because, Dawn, this is what the audience wants to hear. Songs they can relate to - songs they can share with their loved ones."

"What? Depressing stuff? I mean-" she snatched the book from his hands and flicked through it opening on a page near the back. "Look at these lyrics..." She pointed at the words to the second verse in particular of the song she held open. "Try singing this, go on. You'll see what I mean."

Unsure, Giles scanned the melody before strumming; picking up halfway through the song.

"Many roads to take:  
Some to joy, some to heart-ache;  
Anyone can lose their way.  
And if I said that we could turn it back -  
Right back to the start,  
Would you take the chance and make the change?  
Do you think how it would have been sometimes?  
Do you pray that I'd never left your side?  
What if I had never let you go?  
Would you be the..."

He stopped abruptly, clearing his throat quietly but awkwardly as he lowered his guitar. "I - ah - I see what you mean. Although... I'm sure they're not all like that."

"Most of them are." She looked up at him from her position on the floor with a sadness in her eyes that no woman of her age should know. "That's what love's like, after all... you know... depressing."

Eager to turn his attentions away from the haunting lyrics of the song still echoing in his mind, Giles handed the book back to her. "Let's see if we can find a lighter one, shall we? Then we can work on your pitch. Before you ask - it would be helpful to know if you can sing in tune before we look at any Elvis songs... if not, you could end up accompanying someone else."

"I can sing!" Dawn insisted in an offended tone as she grabbed Giles' new book back. "I'll prove it..." She scanned the contents before opening the book and thrusting it back at him. "What's more, I'll do it really well, 'cause I love this song."

Not wanting to incur the wrath of one of the Summers sisters, Giles hastily played the opening chord sequence, watching as she instructed the correct speed. He smiled an apology as she came in, her sweet, soft, first note not only in tune, but on time.

"If I should stay, I would only be in your way.  
So I'll go, but I know I'll think of you every step of the way.  
And I will always love you, ooohh, will always love you.  
Bittersweet memories that is all I'm taking with me.  
So goodbye, please don't cry, we both know I'm not what you, you need;  
And I...

"Why'd you stop? Oh." Her last words dropped like a lead weight as she realised Buffy was standing in the doorway, her face pale and eyes bright with unshed tears.

"Buffy, I -" She scrambled to her feet, but before she could speak further, her sister had gone. Dawn turned uncertain eyes to the man sitting rigidly beside her. "Should I go after her?"

When he failed to answer, her gaze searched his and she realised that he was barely keeping his own emotions in check. Startled for a moment, she wondered what could be behind the pained expression on his face. It's obvious why Buffy's probably hating me right now, but why is Giles so upset? Unless... maybe he has regrets? Shaking her head free of her wonderings, she smiled with sympathetic sadness and covered his hand with hers. Startled out of his trance at the touch, he looked up at her, hurt shining in his eyes, despite his attempts to hide it.

"I'm not even going to ask if I was okay," Dawn's voice wavered on a couple of her words, but she continued on, injecting confidence into her tone - more for his sake, than hers. "Because I know I was better than okay. So, now it's your turn. Didn't you say the next step was to learn how to hold the thing?"

"I -" Giles spared a brief glance to the now-empty doorway before answering. "Yes, I believe I did." It was a full minute before he felt fully recovered from the shock of Buffy's reaction to Dawn's song, to resume the lesson. "Now, pick up your guitar and show me how think you should hold it."

Obediently, Dawn lifted it from where it lay beside her and rested it in her lap, thinking for a long moment before gripping the top of the neck with her left hand and draping her right over the front.

"Ah. Just as I thought." Grateful for the distraction, he lowered his own guitar and leaned forward, outstretching his hand to the teen. "Here, shake my hand."

"Huh?"

"Shake my hand."

"O-okay." Narrowing her eyes in suspicion, Dawn lifted her hand to meet his, her fingers curling around his as she shook his hand lightly.

"You take after your sister."

Grinning at his words, Dawn loosened her grip automatically.

"Better..." Giles tried not to wince, "... but still a little too tight. Don't try and kill my hand, just shake it like you did with Mister Andrews yesterday." The wince transformed into a half-smile as her muscles relaxed. "Much better. Now..." He withdrew his own hand and leaned further forward, directing her still-curved palm to the guitar neck. "That's it. Just let it rest, there."

"But I might drop it."

"No, you won't. You'll be too busy playing to drop anything."

"Hmm." Dawn's eyes were still narrowed suspiciously. "Why does it have to be so... loose... anyway?"

"So you can do this." Giles replied, returning to his own instrument and playing a rapid succession of chords, stretching his fingers and thumb across the strings as they slid toward the body of the guitar and back again.

"Oh."

Giles chuckled as her eyes widened at his impressive display.

She tried running her own hand back and forth, struggling not to let her hand form a grip around the wood, and heaved a sigh of something nearing frustration.

"You know, I think I'm finally getting why there are more men than women guitarists out there."

It took a couple of seconds for Giles to realise what she was saying and when he at last did, a long groan escaped him.

"I really hope you didn't inherit that sense of humour from your mother."


	4. Part Three

Title: Always on My Mind Author: Luisa Email: Pairing: Giles/Dawn friendship, Giles/Buffy smoochies Rating: PG-13 rising to a light 'R' at the end Disclaimer: Not mine although I wish they were. The ingenious invention of the Buffy-Verse belongs to Joss, Fox, ME and co. All extra characters and places are straight from my imagination. "Always on My Mind" has Elvis written all over it - no matter what anyone else says. "What If" belongs to Kate Winslet, "Love me Do" is by the Beatles and "I Will Always Love You" is by Dolly Parton.  
Feedback: it's like oxygen.........

Part Three

Why does it still hurt so much?

No answer came to the silent question.

It was another time - another place. It was all resolved... wasn't it?

Again, there was no response. Instead, Buffy found herself absently watching as small teardrops formed in the corners of her reflection's eyes before falling freely over her cheeks.

It's not fair. I thought I'd dealt with this. So... why is the ache still there?

She turned abruptly away from the depressing image in the mirror and walked over to the bed. She sank onto the soft, welcoming covers and fell backwards into them to stare at the ceiling, torn between trying to ignore the laughter filling the house and the thoughts that threatened to consume her.

What happened to 'forgive and forget', huh? I mean, well... I've forgiven Giles for leaving, so why the hell can't my heart forget it?

She let out a sound of frustration, clenching her fists for a moment before forcing herself to relax.

Or... maybe I did. Maybe I did forget it. After all, it's not my fault that he brought it up, is it? I mean, he shouldn't have allowed Dawn to sing that stupid song. If he hadn't, I wouldn't be here, like this, right now.

A loud whisper roared through her mind in reply.

Talk about stupid. You know that you wouldn't have reacted that way if you didn't still have issues about it.

She squeezed her eyes shut, aware of a hot tear being pushed out of an eye as she did so.

I so need to get over this. I don't want it to haunt me forever.

A sudden hush filled her mind following that particular thought, and she found herself fixing her attentions on the patterned lampshade in an attempt to stop any more upsetting thoughts from entering her mind. One, however, refused to be pushed out.

This isn't about the past.

"Shut up."

The thought snubbed her irritated command, whispering rebelliously louder into her mind.

This is about your fears. Your insecurities. Your feelings.

"Fears? Feelings? What a load of -"

Admit it.

"Admit what?"

You're scared.

"What part of 'shut up' do you not understand?"

Stop avoiding the issue. Just admit that you're scared it'll happen again. Scared that he'll leave you. Scared that you'll lose someone else before you've had a chance to analyse your feeli-

"Oh, this is getting ridiculous."

Buffy rolled onto her front, burying her face into the soft material and clasping her hands over her head, trying to shut out the voice.

But is it? Is the thought of you and Giles really so ridiculous?

"I've had enough of this. It's not like that's really the reason he left, anyway. Plus, I don't think of him like that."

Oh, really? So, why are you so scared of losing him then?

"Will you just shut up, already? I don't have to listen to you."

Maybe you don't have to, but you certainly ought to. You've got more issues than Vogue and they all need to be worked through, but you need to work past your fears first.

"I don't have any fears. Frustrations, yes, but fears? No."

Then why are you constantly running? What's chasing you?

With a defeated sigh, the Slayer mumbled just one word into the cottony fabric.

"Me."

Okay, 'Miss dog-chasing-her-tail', tell me: why are you running metaphorically from yourself when you are clearly running physically from him?

For a long moment there was silence as Buffy tried to find the words to explain.

"I... I just... I can't look him in the eye. Not after everything that's happened and I know that somehow I'm meant to move past this, but I don't know how. I know I need to ask his forgiveness...I should be begging him for it. What I did was beyond wrong... it was... I was... horrible... to him. I don't know how he can bear to be in the same room as me for more than five seconds. I don't know what to do, or say... and working with him... well yeah, it's great, but it's not the same... it never will be. I just wish..." She gave a frustrated sigh, "I don't know what I wish, but I know I want him to forgive me... I just don't know how to begin apologising. Nothing I can do will change what I did and what right do I have to ask for forgiveness, anyway? I don't deserve it, after all."

You're right there. But something needs to be done... otherwise you'll never be able to have a half-decent friendship with him again, let alone anything more.

"Don't you think I know that?"

Barely containing her sudden flash of anger, she pushed herself off the bed and strode quickly across the room to grab her bag and coat.

Oh yes... The voice became snarky as it responded. And that knowledge has helped so much hasn't it? Wake up, Buffy and do something to make things right before your fears materialise and he really does leave you.

"Oh, just... just... go to hell!"

Throwing the exclamation into the bedroom in half-shout she hastily exited, slamming the door behind her in an effort to leave the persistent voice behind.


	5. Part Four

Title: Always on My Mind Author: Luisa Email: Pairing: Giles/Dawn friendship, Giles/Buffy smoochies Rating: PG-13 rising to a light 'R' at the end Disclaimer: Not mine although I wish they were. The ingenious invention of the Buffy-Verse belongs to Joss, Fox, ME and co. All extra characters and places are straight from my imagination. "Always on My Mind" has Elvis written all over it - no matter what anyone else says. "What If" belongs to Kate Winslet, "Love me Do" is by the Beatles and "I Will Always Love You" is by Dolly Parton.  
Feedback: it's like oxygen.........

Part Four

Dawn looked up briefly as Buffy dashed out the front door, before returning her surprised look to her tutor.

"What was that all about?"

Giles' equally intrigued expression answered her even before his voice caught up.

"I have absolutely no idea."

Her eyes widened. "Really? I thought you and Buffy always knew everything about each other."

He took great care not to look her in the eye as he replied, more to himself than she. "It's been quite a while since she's confided in me about anything, actually. But then, I suppose I deserve that."

"Hmm." Dawn watched as various emotions played across his face and chose not to press the matter, opting instead to revert to their previous discussion. "So... anyway... you were saying?"

"Pardon? Oh. Yes. Now, where was I?"

"You told me the notes and then started saying about these... bar thingies... under the strings."

"Frets, Dawn. Those 'bar thingies', as you so eloquently put it, are called frets. Hence the name, fret board."

She giggled as he grinned at her, each enjoying their teasing banter.

"Okay, so... what do I do with them? What are they for? Am I meant to fret about them?"

"Ha, ha." He responded with an expression that clearly told her how awful her pun was. "I'll show you." After thinking for a second, he rested his guitar back on its stand and put his hand in his pocket, fishing around until he found what he'd hoped to find. Retrieving a roll of papers, he proceeded to pull the elastic band off them, chuckling a little as he became aware of Dawn's inquisitive look.

"What-?"

"It's to... prove... for lack of a better word, what those frets are for, while proving that the reasoning is not limited only to guitars." As he spoke, he pulled the band tightly between both hands and rested them on the arm of the chair. "If you'll come over here, Dawn, I want you to do something for me."

Obediently, she raised herself onto her knees and shuffled over to him.

"Strum the band. Just rest a finger on it and pull it toward you slightly." Without question, she did as asked, flashing him a confused smile as the rubber quivered under her touch, its resonance producing a soft, strange note that soon died. Before she could question him, he instructed her again. "Now, with your left hand, Dawn, I want you to depress the band anywhere you like. That's it. Now, try strumming it again."

Again, she obeyed, smiling again in confusion as the elastic hummed at a higher pitch. "I don't get it. Why-?"

Giles ignored her half-spoken question. "Let's try that again. Try depressing the band in a different place." She moved the pad of her finger left, closer to his fist. "There. Now, try-"

Anticipating his instruction, she pulled lightly on the band again, this time beaming at him in dawning realisation as a lower note sounded.

"-Again." Giles found himself chuckling as he realised the belated nature of his words.

He watched as she scrambled back to her guitar, picking it up and testing her theory on the strings. She grinned triumphantly up at him as her left hand slid closer to the body of the guitar, while the pitch of the thin string she was strumming increased.

He smiled back at her, his gaze full of affection and pride. "I always knew you were brighter than you let on, Dawn Summers."

"You did? I am?" She looked up at him in surprise at the compliment, trying - unsuccessfully - not to blush with delight.

"Mm-hmm." Still smiling tenderly, Giles nodded, allowing himself to bask for a moment in the simple pleasure a few words could bring a person. For too long - in his mind - Dawn had been unintentionally cast aside as all attention focused on her Slayer sister. Since moving to Cleveland, things had changed for the better, but still Giles knew that there was room for greater improvement when it came to appreciating the younger Summers for who she was and what she could offer.

"Thank you." Her voice was soft as she carried on fiddling for a minute, before fixing a questioning gaze upon him once more. "What I don't get is why you used that rubber band. Wouldn't it have made more sense just to pick up your guitar and show me what you meant?"

"In some ways it would... and I expect any other teacher would have done so. But you know me, Dawnie. I like to do things my own way."

She gave a sweet smile at his unexpected endearment, before it widened into a cheeky grin. "Like Buffy."

Giles grinned along with her. "Yes, I suppose so, in some ways."

"So, why-?"

"I thought I'd try out the reverse of how I learnt to play." In response to her suddenly fascinated expression, he explained. "You see, when I was a boy, it was quite fashionable for a child to excel in the arts - particularly musically. Everybody wanted to have a prodigy for a son - or daughter - and my parents were no exception. Dad wanted me to play the piano - he thought it would bring in some serious money in the future, I suppose - but it proved too expensive, so Mum talked him into a compromise... the violin. I got about as far as grade four in the space of just five years; the tutor I had pushed me as hard as possible and as a result I hated it with a passion. Not the music... just the constant pressure I was under. When I left home, I vowed I would never pick up an instrument again." He chuckled mildly, mid-explanation as a memory passed fleetingly through his mind. "Of course, when I saw how crazy the girls went for musicians - guitarists in particular, I re-thought my opinion and well, the rest - as they say - is history."

"Wow." The word came out on a single breath of amazement as Dawn looked up at an old friend through new eyes. In sharing those memories, she felt like he'd allowed her to see a part of his soul. "So... how...?"

"Oh, learning was relatively easy. There are only two extra strings and all the semitones are marked clearly out for you. So, that's why I had you 'play' the band. I simply thought that should you find that music comes naturally to you, it would be useful for you to realise that there are no limits on what is musically achievable. Like I said, the guitar has frets, which define the semitones. However, if you wanted to take your musical interest further and maybe play something like the violin, the markings are not there and it can be very confusing unless you are aware of how the pitch should change."

"Huh. How about that? Semitones, huh?" She again returned her attentions to her guitar. "I knew there was a fancy word for it." She slid her thumbpad along the thick bass string, pausing to rest it on the second fret. "So, this 'E' string on this fret, means it's plus two semitones, which makes it a...?" She looked to him for an answer.

"An 'F'-Sharp. And it's a tone."

She blinked in bewilderment. "Who's a what?"

He chuckled at her expression. "Semi means half, so a semitone is half a tone. Therefore,-"

"Two semitones equal a tone. Okay, I think I'm beginning to understand this. Now all I need to do is learn these notes."

His chuckle grew as her expression told of her sudden realisation of the daunting task ahead of her.

"Well..." Feeling somewhat sympathetic for her, he leaned over to his guitar case, withdrew a folded sheet of paper from the storage compartment and handed it to her. "It's a good thing I came prepared then, isn't it?"

"What's this?"

"That, Dawn, is to be treated if though it's gold-dust. Everything you need to know about notes, tones, semitones and octaves is right there. Once you've learnt that, we'll progress to chords."

She glanced at the chart before her, raised her eyes briefly to meet his twinkling ones and looked back down at the paper with a frown.

"I'm beginning to think that this was a big mistake."


	6. Part Five

Title: Always on My Mind Author: Luisa Email: Pairing: Giles/Dawn friendship, Giles/Buffy smoochies Rating: PG-13 rising to a light 'R' at the end Disclaimer: Not mine although I wish they were. The ingenious invention of the Buffy-Verse belongs to Joss, Fox, ME and co. All extra characters and places are straight from my imagination. "Always on My Mind" has Elvis written all over it - no matter what anyone else says. "What If" belongs to Kate Winslet, "Love me Do" is by the Beatles and "I Will Always Love You" is by Dolly Parton.  
Feedback: it's like oxygen.........

Part Five

"Dawn! I'm not gonna tell you again..."

"Okay, okay... I'll put it away."

Buffy frowned to herself at her sister's quick surrender. Usually it took a far bigger argument than that to get her to admit defeat. Carrying the bundle of laundry she held over to the doorway of the teen's room, she watched as her sister gently - almost reverently - returned her guitar to its case.

"Okay, I'll bite." She smirked to herself as Dawn jumped slightly at the unexpected intrusion. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"This. Giles.. the guitar... the lessons... the endless racket... need I continue?"

"Racket? What racket?" Dawn assumed a defensive pose, glowering at her sister. "I've only been practising my scales."

"Sure you have," Buffy agreed with a grimace. "Over and over and over and -"

Dawn rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Well, duh! How else am I gonna learn them? And by the way, it hasn't been as bad as that... it can't have been 'cause the strings hurt my fingers if I practice too much."

"Well, it sure seems like it." Buffy countered with a small frown of annoyance. "Can't you take it somewhere else?"

"Uh... like where?"

"Um..."

For a second, there was silence and Dawn grinned at her sister as she tried to come up with a suitable suggestion.

Finally, Buffy shot her sister a triumphant grin. "What about Will and Xand's? You can torture - um, serenade - them."

"No way!" Dawn watched as Buffy's eyebrows shot up in surprise at her vehement rejection of the mere suggestion, before adding in a slightly softer voice, "You know how accident prone Xander is, and trust me when I say that Satan's gonna buy himself a pair of ice-skates before I do anything that might risk damaging this baby." She patted the guitar case still beside her protectively, for added emphasis.

The eyebrows almost disappeared into the hairline for a brief moment, before they lowered again, this time furrowing into a frown. Setting the laundry on the floor to stall for time, Buffy considered how to phrase her thoughts. At last, confident in her decision, she crossed the room to perch on the edge of the bed.

"Seriously, Dawn... what's going on? And don't give me 'what do you mean?', because I think you know what I mean. First you buy this guitar - which someone must have lent you the money for because those things don't come cheap -"

"Actually -"

Buffy continued as if she hadn't heard her sister's interruption, pausing only long enough to draw breath. "And then there's all this bondage with Giles and... and... well, not to mention you practising every night for the last two weeks... which is a big enough shock in itself... you know, 'cause you're actually taking responsibility for once. So, you wanna clue me in? Or is this part of some huge secret?"

Dawn grinned at her sister's rambling. "It's not a secret; I just haven't gotten around to telling you about it yet."

"Ah." Buffy smiled as a thought occurred to her. "I see."

The grin faded into confusion. "See? Huh? What's there to see?"

"What's his name?"

The confusion deepened. "What's whose name?"

Buffy smiled sympathetically at her sister. "Come on, Dawnie, you don't have to hide it from me, so don't play the innocent card. You usually only go to these sorts of extremes for one reason. So... this guy you're obviously trying to impress... tell me about him."

"What? There's no guy." Despite the bafflement still evident in her voice, Dawn's words earned a disbelieving stare. 

"Then what's with the secret smile? And all this hard work?"

"I know this is gonna sound weird, but, it's called studying. I have to learn the guitar... well, any instrument, actually... 'cause your ol' buddy, Robin, is forcing everyone in my grade to learn an instrument so they can perform for the cabaret at the end of the semester. Lucky me, huh?"

Before Buffy could respond, Dawn sighed and added thoughtfully, "Actually, I do feel kinda lucky. It's given me a chance to discover the fact that I might possibly have some sort of musical gift -and it's given me an opportunity to get to know Giles better. I mean, do you know how long he's had his guitar? Since he was about fifteen! That's a long time." She giggled at a sudden recollection. "And has he ever told you about the girl he had a crush on in high school? No? Well, you might wanna ask him about it... but take some tissues with you, 'cause if you're anything like me you'll be crying with laughter."

"Why, what happened?"

The giggle grew as Dawn answered. "He... I... oh... I can't tell you that. You're gonna have to ask him yourself. Oh, it's priceless..."

"Hmm... I think I will... when I get the chance and he's not otherwise... occupied." Buffy looked pointedly at her sister.

"Hey! There's no need to act all jealous.... I don't take up that much of Giles' time."

The pointed look transformed rapidly into one of shock, horror and something close to sudden awareness. "I'm not jealous! Why... why would I be jealous? I think it's good that you two are spending time together, you know... bonding, getting to know each other, learning stuff. We've all changed, Dawnie, and I think it's great that you have someone to learn from, to - to look up to, someone who - well, he might walk away one day - but otherwise he's a good and stable influence..."

"Buff-"

Buffy ignored the interruption and slid off the bed, deciding that now would be a good time to return to her former task. She shuffled quickly toward the door as she spoke, paying no heed to the whispers of realisation in her mind.

"And - and he's helping you discover this... talent... you know, this musical gift you've got... and he's showing you that you're special... which, I admit, is something that I haven't been able to do. So, me? I say 'yay for Giles' and 'yay for you' and 'yay' for the whole Robin/guitar/cabaret/Giles/lessons thingy that got you two to spend more time together in the first place. Everything's perfect... he's doing good, you're doing good, we're all doing good. Now, I'm gonna go get some work done." With that she hastily gathered up the pile of laundry and darted out of the room, leaving Dawn grinning to herself, as she stormed down the hallway.

"Sounds like you're jealous to me. Typical 'Babbling-Buffy' gives the game away every time."


	7. Part Six

Title: Always on My Mind Author: Luisa Email: Pairing: Giles/Dawn friendship, Giles/Buffy smoochies Rating: PG-13 rising to a light 'R' at the end Disclaimer: Not mine although I wish they were. The ingenious invention of the Buffy-Verse belongs to Joss, Fox, ME and co. All extra characters and places are straight from my imagination. "Always on My Mind" has Elvis written all over it - no matter what anyone else says. "What If" belongs to Kate Winslet, "Love me Do" is by the Beatles and "I Will Always Love You" is by Dolly Parton.  
Feedback: it's like oxygen.........

Part Six

"I'm not jealous."

Buffy slammed the door on the Washing Machine.

"I'm not jealous."

Her words faded into silence as she finished setting the cycle. She scowled to herself as that silence crowded in on her accusingly.

"I'm not."

With one final push of a button, the machine whirred into action - the sluggish sound almost mocking to her ears - and she couldn't help but kick it in response.

"Stupid... thing. If I could slay you I would."

"You know... I'm pretty sure that talking to yourself is one of the first signs of craziness."

She jumped as the soft voice, warm with humour, sounded behind her before gathering her wits and calmly turning around to face its owner.

"Xand! I didn't hear you come in."

"Ah, the beauty of having a house key." He grinned widely as he fished said key out of his pocket to wave in front of him. "See? We should have done this back in Sunnydale... now there's no need to interrupt you and make you rush to the door when you're in the middle of... of... uh... what exactly are you doing? It looks like a cross between talking yourself into seeing a therapist and slaying the laundry."

A small smile graced her lips and she shrugged non-committedly.

"Nothing much."

Shaking his head, still with his trademark mile-wide grin on his handsome face, he took two steps forward and pulled her into a hug that lasted for several long moments before he released her.

"I don't believe that for a minute. So, what's going on?" His right eye sparkled with amusement as he regarded her. "Who aren't you jealous of?"

"Jealous?" She let out a short, awkward laugh. "There's no one jealous around here."

"Uh-huh." His eye narrowed at her suspiciously for a moment. "So... who are you not not jealous of?"

Opting for a change of subject, she moved past him, leading the way into the kitchen. "So, Xand. What's up? Want some tea? Coffee? Juice? Anything... liquid-y?"

"Ah. So there's a guy involved in this." Barely stifling a chuckle, Xander followed her and leaned against the counter, watching as she pulled a carton of juice out of the refrigerator and taking two glasses from the drainer.

"What? No. I... that's ridiculous." She tried to laugh it off, but even as she spoke, a deep blush betrayed her, roaring up the sides of her neck against her will. "Why would you think that? And... and... why are you here anyway?"

"Good to see you too, Buff." Laughter filled his voice as he spoke. "And in answer to the question that you didn't intend me to answer, the fact that you've turned into 'Buffy-who-will-do-anything-to-avoid-the question' all of a sudden kinda gives it away. Plus, the attractive shade of red you're wearing right now is the very same one you always wear when quizzed about your love-life."

"I'm not wearing..." She looked down at her outfit in confusion for a moment before realising the meaning of his words. "Oh."

"Yep. Told you. Definitely a guy. The point when you deny your clothing before you deny your feelings proves my entire point. I can read you like a book."

With a sigh of defeat, Buffy poured out the drinks and handed Xander his as she tried to buy herself a little time. Still stalling, she silently beckoned him to follow her through to the sitting room where they sank onto the couch together. After several long moments, she at last felt brave enough to break the silence, weighing her words carefully as she spoke.

"Technically, Xand, you can't. Read me, that is. You see, you talked about me having a love-life... but that involves firstly having a life, and secondly having someone in it... which I don't."

"But there is a guy that you'd want to be in it?" He thirstily downed half of his drink, watching for her reaction out the corner of his eye.

"Yes... no... well... maybe. I don't know. I'm too confused right now. There's kinda a lot going on and it's really complicated."

"Gee, thanks for clearing that up." The grin that had started to form on his lips faded before it even achieved full-width as he saw the depths of sadness in his friend's eyes. "C'mon Buff. Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help."

"No." She shook her head and focused her attentions on removing the dirt from under her nails. "You can't. No-one can. How can they if I'm not sure of what I'm feeling right now?"

Xander looked at her in surprise. "Buffy... this is so unlike you. I've never known you to be in such a state over someone. Please, Buff... if you won't talk to me... talk to somebody. You know, maybe Giles can help -"

"No!" Buffy's head shot up and she stared, panicked, into Xander's startled face. "Not Giles." She lowered her gaze again, fighting to soften and calm her voice. "This isn't something I can talk to him about." Her gaze flicked back up briefly to meet his. "Please. You have to promise me you won't breathe a word of this to anyone. Especially Giles. I just... want to work this out on my own for once. I... need to... for me."

Confused and at a loss as to how best to respond, Xander returned his half-empty glass to the coffee table and wrapped an arm around Buffy's shoulders.

"Of course I promise. Although, it's not like you have to be worried about what Giles will say. He's cool. Plus, you know, it's not like he wouldn't approve of whoever it is... unless it's Angel again. It's not, is it?"

Attempting a half-hearted smile at Xander's run-on sentences, Buffy shook her head.

He let out a relieved sigh in response. "Well, then. Why don't -?"

"Xand?" She interrupted, determined not to let him finish the question.

"Yeah?" He tucked a stray lock of her hair behind one ear, watching, intrigued, as she struggled to guard her emotions.

"Can we not talk about this?"

"Sure." Silencing his inner confusion, he responded instead to his instincts and pulled her into his arms fully, allowing her to curl up into a tight ball against his chest. He looked down at her blonde crown in silence for a moment before reaching for the remote and switching the television on for a quick distraction that he knew she'd be grateful for.


	8. Part Seven

Title: Always on My Mind Author: Luisa Email: Pairing: Giles/Dawn friendship, Giles/Buffy smoochies Rating: PG-13 rising to a light 'R' at the end Disclaimer: Not mine although I wish they were. The ingenious invention of the Buffy-Verse belongs to Joss, Fox, ME and co. All extra characters and places are straight from my imagination. "Always on My Mind" has Elvis written all over it - no matter what anyone else says. "What If" belongs to Kate Winslet, "Love me Do" is by the Beatles and "I Will Always Love You" is by Dolly Parton.  
Feedback: it's like oxygen.........

Part Seven

The sound of a key in the lock caught the boy's attention first. The sleepy slayer whose head had slid from his chest and was now nestled in his lap gave no indication that she'd heard it until a cultured voice echoed in the small hallway.

"Hello! Dawn? Buffy?"

At the familiar voice, Buffy bolted upright, looking anxiously around the room for a way out. Resigned to the fact that the only way out was the only way in, she straightened against the back of the couch, focusing intently on the television screen in a determined effort to prove to the visitor - and herself - that she wasn't affected by his presence.

"Ah, there you are! I should have known you'd be in here." Giles' smiling face appeared in the doorway. "Hello, Xander, Buffy."

"Hey, G-Man! Come sit with us. We're learning the art of relaxation."

"Ah." Giles chuckled as he stepped into the room, "A rare skill, indeed. Oh, and by the way..." he added, partly out of habit and partly because it was expected of him, "Please refrain from calling me that. It's getting very old."

A burst of laughter escaped Xander before he could stop it and his eye twinkled merrily by way of cheeky response.

"Like you, you mean?"

"Hey!"

The two objecting outcries cut Xander's laugh short as he stared in amused bewilderment at the woman beside him.

"Um... Buff? I know what his 'hey' was for, but... well... since when do you object to our not-really-insults at Giles' age?"

"I... uh... I... well... you know... he's not old... really... just... um... smarter, brainier, maturer... you know what I mean."

"Um-hmm." He slowly nodded his head in agreement as he watched another pink blush rise up her neck to fill her cheeks. The day was definitely getting weirder and weirder by the minute. He bit back a query of concern, only to hear someone else sound it.

"Buffy? Are you alright?"

She startled slightly at Giles' soft question.

"Yeah... you know... I'm fine... just... uh... a little woozy from being horizontal with Xand for too long." The pink bled into scarlet as she realised how her words sounded. "Uh, uh, I mean... I was horizontal, he wasn't. You see, we were... we were watching this thing and my... my head was in his lap... in, um, in a non-sexual way... and it's all stiff... my neck, I mean... and... and... um... you know what?" She jumped up suddenly as he made a small step toward her. "I think the load I put on should be done by now. So, um, if you'll excuse me... I'd better rescue it before it starts to crease."

In a heartbeat, she had swiftly sidestepped the Englishman regarding her with surprise - and was gone, leaving the two men to look at each other in confusion.

"That was weird."

"My thoughts exactly."

The dark-haired young man watched in silence as his mentor stepped forward and settled beside him on the couch, rubbing his forehead in thought as he moved.

"I don't understand. In all our years together... Buffy's never... not even when... this doesn't make sense."

"I know. These last couple of weeks... well... she's fine until someone mentions you. Then she gets all... well... weird."

Giles' head snapped up to fix a penetrating gaze on Xander. 

"Weird... how?"

"She... uh... she just gets all jumpy. Goes into major babble mode... starts avoiding the subject... usually ends up running off to do something... oh!" The last word came out on a single descending note as the memory of his earlier conversation with Buffy echoed in his mind, causing the proverbial penny to drop. He turned a wide eye upon Giles as he replayed his thoughts. Reaching the same conclusion as before, he could only mutter, "Oh!" repeatedly to himself.

Shutting out the young man's mutterings, Giles closed his eyes and frowning to himself, cast his mind back over the last fourteen days. There was something tugging on the edge of his awareness - some small bead of knowledge that he strained mentally to reach. Touching it at last, he straightened in his chair, his eyes opening in horror.

"Oh, dear Lord." He bent over and full of remorse, buried his face in his hands. "How did I miss it? I've been so stupid."

"Me too." Xander added absently. "There I was asking who it was.. and... it was staring me right in the face. It's so obvious a blind man could see it. I should have seen the signs. Man, I should have known it would be you. It all makes sense, now."

Giles looked up, his expression part sorrow, part curiosity.

"What does? You mean you knew she was still upset about that? Why didn't she just talk to me about it? She should know that withdrawing isn't the answer. We need to move past this." He pulled off his glasses and rubbed his forehead lightly again. "Oh, I knew should have gone after her straight away. I didn't realise she was still hurting after all this time. Not that I helped matters by singing that stupid, stupid song. Bloody hell. What have I done to her?"

Xander's eyebrows crept north as he listened to Giles' ranting. "Oh. Uh... I don't think we're talking about the same thing, here, so I'll... I'll just be going... I have a class to teach right about now."

"Xander." Confusion, self-hate and bitter regret coalesced into a low growl that rumbled from Giles' throat as he spoke the boy's name. "What aren't you telling me?"

Xander was saved from answering as Dawn cheerily stepped into the room, her guitar case hanging off her shoulder as she attempted to shoo him away.

"Okay guys. Chat time's over."

He looked up at his unexpected saviour and let out an audible sigh of relief, willingly complying with her shooing motions, eager to escape Giles' searching gaze.

"Uh... yeah... I gotta go."

She smiled brightly at him. "Good. You go, now. Bye, bye Xander." She turned to the other man with the same smile, unaware of what she'd interrupted. "C'mon Giles... let's get learning."


	9. Part Eight

Title: Always on My Mind Author: Luisa Email: Pairing: Giles/Dawn friendship, Giles/Buffy smoochies Rating: PG-13 rising to a light 'R' at the end Disclaimer: Not mine although I wish they were. The ingenious invention of the Buffy-Verse belongs to Joss, Fox, ME and co. All extra characters and places are straight from my imagination. "Always on My Mind" has Elvis written all over it - no matter what anyone else says. "What If" belongs to Kate Winslet, "Love me Do" is by the Beatles and "I Will Always Love You" is by Dolly Parton.  
Feedback: it's like oxygen.........

Part Eight

"Oh god... what is wrong with me?"

"Nothing... just relax... you're trying too hard."

"But I'm useless."

"No you're not. You're a natural. Just try not to tense up so much."

"But why? I mean, tense is good. It stops me from dropping this thing... and let's not forget just how expensive it would be if I did."

"I understand your concerns, Dawn, but you have to trust me on this. The more relaxed you are the easier chord changes will be."

"Hmm. If you say so." She looked up at him, noticing that he only seemed half-there, but chose not to comment. "So... I got the 'E' chord and the 'A' and 'D' chords down... but I just can't figure this 'G' chord out. Help me out here, Giles... tell me what I'm doing wrong. I just can't seem to get all the notes you showed me... I don't have enough fingers."

"It's simply a matter of practice, Dawn."

"Practice what? Practice hurting my hand?"

"Dawn, if you're not willing to put in the effort..."

"I am! I've been working my butt off continually for the last couple of weeks driving Buffy and everybody up the wall. I've had to put up with their yelling and their threats all in the name of... what? Education? Music? Talent? Trying to be good at just one thing in my life? I'd say that I damn well am putting in the effort."

Giles' mind caught on a single phrase in her rant and his eyes widened in astonishment. "Just one thing?" He lowered his guitar to the ground and slid forward to perch on the edge of the couch where he leant toward Dawn and lifted a hand to rest it reassuringly on her shoulder.

"What on earth makes you think you aren't good at anything else?" When she didn't answer, he slid further forward until he was on his knees in front of her. "Dawn?"

"Hey, don't worry about me, Giles. I'm over it. I was over it a long time ago. Right about the time that Xand told me I wasn't special."

"He what?"

"No, not like that." She shook her head emphatically. "He didn't mean it horribly. He... he said that I'm extraordinary. But that doesn't stop me from occasionally imagining that just for once I might stand out in a crowd like Buffy does. You know... maybe have her looks, if I can't have her powers. Or maybe her intelligence... 'cause sometimes - not very often though - she can be really smart. Like when she came up with the whole 'let's turn all the Potentials into Slayers' idea. That was unusually smart of her. See? That's what I want to do. Have one great idea... or do one special thing. Maybe... if I could just excel in just one thing and if people appreciated it, then that would be enough." She paused for a moment, and then added, "But, like I said. It's just a... daydream, now. I'm over stressing about it. I just focus on what Xander said, instead."

He stared at her in silent wonder for a long moment and when he eventually spoke his voice was full of emotion.

"What happened to you, Dawn?"

"Huh?"

"When did you become so mature?"

"Oh." She gave a slightly embarrassed grin. "I still have my crazy moments... but... thank you for the compliment." Absently, she plucked the strings of her guitar. "You and Xand are the only ones who get it. My need to do something special... to be someone special. Before... you know, before ... I was this... this thing of... I don't know... evil? I'm not sure... I mean... I was this key. Sure, Glory wanted to use me for evil purposes... but that doesn't actually make me evil. After all, if she needed me to unlock the doors, then I must have locked them at some point... and that's a good thing... right?" She barely noticed as he gently nodded. "But no one told me that. No one worked it out. I had to do that for myself... but I'm glad I did, 'cause it made me realise that I don't have to live in Buffy's shadow anymore. I can just be me... independent in my own right and I can be good at stuff without people wondering if the world is gonna end. So... now I'm just waiting for the one thing that will come naturally to me. I mean, everyone has something... and, who knows? Maybe this stupid assignment..." she curved her hand around the fret board forming the chord shape she'd been struggling with as she finished, "... could be what I've been waiting for." She grinned at him as she let the fingertips of her right hand fall steadily across the strings sounding each note perfectly.

"You've got to admit, I'm a fast learner."

Giles chuckled, his expression conveying his admiration and pride in both her maturity and abilities.

"You definitely are."

After a brief pause, he reclaimed his guitar and attempted his best school-teacher-like voice.

"Okay... we have a few more basic chords to look at today and then we might look at some simple songs."

"Simple, like... 'Love Me Do'?" She grinned as he groaned in defeat.

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

Still grinning, she shook her head. "Nah-ah. That's good bribery material, which reminds me..." A mischievous glint appeared in Dawn's eyes as she casually remarked, "Buffy might come asking about that sometime."

Giles' eyes widened in panic. "Please, tell me you didn't tell her about it."

"Relax, Giles. Isn't that what you've been telling me? Just relax. I only mentioned it to her in passing. We were actually talking about other stuff." She giggled at his still-worried expression. "Besides, it's normal to do idiotic stuff when you have a crush on someone. I should know." Anther giggle escaped. "Actually, that was kind of the 'other stuff' me and Buffy were talking about. Not your crush. Mine - apparently. She thought I was only learning the guitar to impress a guy. As if I need to... I mean, if there was someone I wanted, I would just use my womanly wiles to win him over."

At last a smile broke through on his features, the frown fading as his eyes crinkled up with mirth. "Well, of course."

"Uh-huh." She watched him for a brief second, warring with herself as she thought of that earlier conversation, before at last commenting, "You know... she's been acting kind of weird lately. Well," she corrected herself, "weirder than is normal for her."

Instantly, any indication of humour died at the mention of Buffy's odd behaviour, as Giles recollected how she had acted around him earlier and the conclusions he had drawn. He attempted to keep his voice calm, even though he knew Dawn would hear the concern at the root of it.

"I had noticed."

"Really? I mean... you've noticed too? 'Cause this isn't just strange... it's really strange. She's acting like she's jealous of something or someone. When we were talking earlier... I kinda got the impression that our lessons have something to do with it."

"Do you think so?" Giles frowned, pondering the possibility, his mind recalling her interruption of that first lesson. "Hmm... I think I may have an idea what's bothering her." A determined expression settled on his face as he turned his attentions back to his guitar. "Don't you worry about your sister, Dawn. I'll have a word with her. Now, let's move on to some more of these chords, shall we?"


	10. Part Nine

Title: Always on My Mind Author: Luisa Email: Pairing: Giles/Dawn friendship, Giles/Buffy smoochies Rating: PG-13 rising to a light 'R' at the end Disclaimer: Not mine although I wish they were. The ingenious invention of the Buffy-Verse belongs to Joss, Fox, ME and co. All extra characters and places are straight from my imagination. "Always on My Mind" has Elvis written all over it - no matter what anyone else says. "What If" belongs to Kate Winslet, "Love me Do" is by the Beatles and "I Will Always Love You" is by Dolly Parton.  
Feedback: it's like oxygen.........

Part Nine

Buffy kicked at the woodchips beneath her, simultaneously letting out a frustrated sigh.

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

She threw a glance over her shoulder, checking that she was still alone in the park, before muttering to herself again in an attempt to organise her turmoil out loud.

"Why am I so stupid? I didn't mean to be all avoid-y with Giles... well, okay maybe I did... but, that's only because... because..." She sighed again. "And since when do I get all stutter-y and ramble-y around him? I haven't done that since... Angel... and I don't even put Giles in the same category as Angel anyway."

She shuffled the swing she occupied backwards as she thought on her words. "That's not a bad thing. I mean... it's not like Angel is better than Giles... they're just... different... they both have their own categories. Angel is... he's in my past... and Giles is... well.. he's just..."

She pulled her feet up, lifting them clear of the ground as she swung gently forwards, the movement inspiring her thoughts.

"He's just Giles. How am I meant to put a label on what he is to me?"

She continued gently rocking on the swing in silence for a while, enjoying the light breeze teasing her hair and the warmth of the late afternoon sun on her face. As she swung, her mind reflected on the complex relationship she and Giles shared. So many memories of their past flitted through her mind, some happy, others sad... yet, throughout them all he was there. An ache filled her as her mind turned to the memories of his prolonged absence and then of their huge fight not long before they left Sunnydale but she shook it off, determined not to get into another conversation about this with herself. Unfortunately, the voice that she'd tried so hard recently to shut out, spoke up, demanding to be heard.

Haven't you pieced it all together, yet?

"I don't know what it is that I'm meant to be piecing together."

Oh, come on. Think about it. What is it that has you so terrified of him walking away? What is it that has you nervous around him all the time?

"Other than the fact that he must hate me and I don't want anything to happen to him without him knowing how sorry I am, you mean? Oh, nothing."

Liar. Be honest with yourself, just this once.

"I... I just... I care about him, alright?"

That's better. See how good it feels to be truthful with yourself?

"Hmm." Buffy frowned, unconvinced. "It's okay, I guess."

So... go ahead... admit it all. You know there's more to it than that.

The frown deepened and she stilled the swing, thinking hard.

"Is there? I don't know about that. All I know is that I don't want him to go... and if there's more to it, then it must be simply that we need to heal the rift between us in case he does go. I mean, I'd hate for anything to happen to him with things the way they are." She emitted a soft, annoyed noise. "I just wish this was fixable - that way I could tell him that I don't want him going anywhere 'cause I miss them when he's not here. But then, what's that supposed to mean? Just 'cause I miss him... so what? Dawn and Xand and Will all miss him, too."

Not in the same way - and you know it.

"No!" She stared down at the ground, watching the patterns she created in the woodchips as she moved her feet slowly back and forth. "See, I don't. I don't know that. How can I know that? I don't understand my own feelings, so how am I meant to get anyone else's?"

Ah-ha! So you admit that you have feelings, then?

"You know what? I am getting really sick of this."

"Hey, Buff."

"Trying to sound like Xander isn't gonna convince me..." She lifted her head in defiance, but stopped as she saw her friend standing, amused, before her. "Of... convince me of... uh..." She struggled to recover and in the end gave up, settling for an embarrassed smile instead.

"You know..." He walked over to sit on the empty swing beside her as he spoke, half chuckling all the way. "We've really got to stop meeting like this. You, me and oh, say, the other you."

"Uh..." She looked away again, unsure of what to say. She opted for a subject change. "So, what brings you here, Xand?"

He shrugged. "Work. You know... home's that a-way," he gestured backward over his shoulder before angling his hand forward again to point in the direction of the campus, "And class is that a-way... so, basically, I was passing through, saw you and figured I'd come over and say hey. So... 'hey'." He started to give a goofy grin, but stopped as he noticed tears welling up in his friend's eyes.

"What? What's wrong, Buff?"

"Huh? Oh..." She smiled a little and pulled a tissue from her pocket before reaching up to dab at her wet eyes. "No, Xand, these aren't bad tears... they're happy tears."

"Oh." He allowed himself that goofy grin this time, fully understanding her reaction, even before she explained.

"I'm just... so happy that you found your path... not just you, but all of us. I'm sorry - I know this seems like it's come from nowhere, but whenever you guys mention work and studying and stuff it just makes it more real and less daydream-y. I mean, you remember how we all were, not so long ago. We all thought we wouldn't see our next birthdays... that the war with The First could be our last. But now... here we all are. You with the carpentry teaching..." She sniffled slightly and smiled affectionately at her friend. "Those kiddies love their Mister Harris almost as much as his friends do, which proves just how well you're doing and I know Anya would be proud of you. Then there's Will, who's doing great with the studying to be a professor... so, again with the proud-age," she paused mid-sentence with a grimace, then shook her head. "Nope, it's probably not a word... but who cares? It's just so... great. No, it's better than great. It's... incredible. I mean, have you noticed how happy Giles is? I don't think I've ever seen him happier than when he's in his museum, cataloguing his artefacts."

"Don't forget all you've achieved, Buff." Xander interrupted, reaching over to squeeze her knee affectionately. "Between the self-defence lessons and assisting Giles... throw in the slayage stuff... and well, you never seem to stop."

"Huh. Not so sure about that." She mumbled by way of response. "Sometimes I wonder if I stop too often and for too long."

"Ah. Yes, of course. The very reason for my being here." He removed his hand from her leg and assumed his best 'Sherlock' voice. "I presume you are referring to the fact that the minute you're left alone, you start talking to yourself?"

"I do not!" She looked away guiltily, adding in a much softer voice, "Much." She heard him get up from the swing and the next thing she knew, he was crouching in font of her, searching her face intently.

"Look, Buff, there's usually only two reasons why people talk to themselves. One, as we've discussed, is that they're going crazy... the other is that they're trying to work out something that's bothering them. So, I'm guessing that it's the second one, in which case, I'm gonna ask you one question - and please, promise you'll answer honestly."

She returned his inquiring look equally for a moment before at last letting out a soft sigh and nodding reluctantly.

"Ask away."

Xander sucked in a deep breath, bracing himself for her reaction.

"Is this about Giles?"


	11. Part Ten

Part Ten

"You and I need to talk."

Buffy looked up at the man sitting across the table from her in bewilderment. She sucked in a stray strand of spaghetti and smiled back at him, remembering Xander's words to her just two days ago.

"As weird as this sounds right now, I get it. I get why you're so scared of him going again... but you don't need to be. Where else would he want to be? He has everything he wants right here: his job, his friends... you. Look at it this way - he walked away from everything that defines him - his home, his country - to stay with us... to be with you. He had a choice and look what he chose. Doesn't that mean anything? Doesn't it say something?"

"But you don't understand. It's not just that. I mean, what if -"

"Look, Buff, you can't spend your whole life worrying abut "what ifs", you know? Look at me. I know this. I spent the best part of last year thinking 'What if I hadn't walked away from Anya?', 'What if she were still alive?' I had to learn to take each day as it comes, counting the blessings instead of the curses - which wasn't always easy - but I'm getting through it and you can, too. Sure, you never know what's gonna happen tomorrow - I'm not trying be all depressing or anything, but Giles could get called away on an emergency, he could even get killed - or, he could be just fine. My point is, you don't know. So, you wanna hear my suggestion?"

Hesitantly, she'd nodded.

"Show him you appreciate him. Enjoy being with him. Don't have regrets. Make the most of him being here... then, if you're still worried... talk to him."

"But it's not that easy. I -"

He'd looked at his watch, then, his eyes widening in alarm.

"I really gotta book. Just... promise me you'll think about it."

She had promised and she had thought about it. Which explained why she was here now, enjoying lunch with him in one of their favourite café's and still smiling sunnily as she lifted a glass of white wine to her lips.

"Okay." She took a small sip before continuing. "So... what do we need to talk about? Is it that indexing system I thought up? Is it bad? Does it make no sense whatsoever?" The smile faded slightly. "It's bad, isn't it? I know it's bad."

Despite his resolve to keep a straight face and a stern voice, Giles chuckled. "Actually... it's surprisingly good." The chuckle took on affectionate warmth. "I always knew you were more intelligent than you allowed yourself to believe."

"Really?" Her whole face lit up as she settled the glass back on the table, fiddling absently with its stem. "Yay me!" They shared a grin in peaceful silence until Buffy prompted him. "So, anyway... what is it you want to talk about? If it's not that, then what is it?"

Giles shifted uncomfortably in his chair, dropping his gaze to his lap. "It's... well... it's about Dawn."

Buffy sighed dramatically. "What about Dawn? What's she done this time?"

"Actually... I'm more concerned with what you've done."

She frowned slightly in confusion, twirling her fork in the pasta strands absently. "I'm sorry, Giles. You've completely lost me. What's about Dawn that I've done?"

"It's... ah... well, she mentioned something to me the other day... and... well..."

"Oh, I get it." She lifted the now-heaped fork to her mouth, pausing halfway as she responded to his suddenly-raised eyebrows, "I've upset Dawn but she won't tell me herself - so you got saddled with having to confront me. Okay... go ahead... I'm used to her teenage traumas." The food completed its journey as she watched Giles' eyebrows descend once more, this time settling into a mild frown.

"Actually, Buffy, she hasn't done anything. The only trauma is that she's worried about you." After a beat, he added in a much softer voice, "And she's not the only one." Clearing his throat awkwardly, he reclaimed his subject. "Dawn happened to mention a conversation that you two shared last week and she's somewhat concerned for your... well... your state of mind."

The cutlery dropped on to the plate with a clatter, and Buffy found herself grateful that she'd chewed that last mouthful well.

"My what?"

He shifted in his seat once more. "I... this isn't easy to say... but... well... she thinks you're... uh... jealous."

"Oh."

Silence fell as she ate another mouthful of spaghetti bolognese while she considered his statement. He watched as she ate for a moment, uncertain then of how to proceed, before returning his attentions to his scampi while he awaited her response. Seconds passed before Buffy at last formulated an answer.

"So... what exactly am I meant to be jealous of?" Noticing he was still chewing and unable to answer, she furthered the question. "I - I mean, there's no guy on the scene as far as I know and clothes aren't an issue... so... what is it? I can't think of anything it could be. Unless she thinks I'm jealous of her friends, but that's not true, 'cause I have my own and I couldn't ask for better." She gave him a sweet smile that he struggled to return even after he had swallowed his fish past the knot of emotion that had formed in his throat.

"Uh... actually..."

Her eyes widened in surprised at his soft, yet hesitant tone.

"What?" Is that what this is about? Her friends?"

"No... not exactly." He rested his cutlery on the plate once more and leaned backward, clasping hands on the table as he fought to find the right words. "This is about Dawn, you and I. We... both... think that you are... uh... uncomfortable... with the amount of time that Dawn and I have been spending together. She thinks you're jealous of either her or myself... but she isn't sure which, or why. I, on the other hand, cannot help but wonder if you are more... scared... than jealous." Before she could object, he leaned forward, surprised at his own boldness as he reached across the table to place one of his hands over hers. "You can talk to me, you know. I don't want to assume anything, but even Xander has noticed your awkwardness around me lately. Please be honest with me and tell me if I've done something wrong. I'd hate to think that I'm coming between you and Dawn."

"Giles..."

"Buffy, please, let me say this. I know that often it feels like there are miles between us and that I'm probably the last person you'd talk to about this, but I've seen you trying so hard to be a stable influence in your sister's life... and I'm worried that you're trying too hard to replace your mother. I get the impression that despite all your efforts that they aren't what Dawn seeks. I think she just wants your friendship."

"But, I..."

"Buffy, I need you to tell me if I'm standing in the way of that. I want you to say if you feel that I'm spending too much time with Dawn... I don't want you to feel pushed out... I don't want you to have regrets."

His choice of words nudged at her subconscious and she found herself suddenly remembering her conversation with Xander once more.

"Um... Giles?"

"Yes, Buffy?" He casually ran a finger round the rim of his water glass as he patiently awaited her response.

"I kinda need to tell you something."

"About Dawn?" Again he waited, yet this time the silence seemed to stretch out and he could almost hear her arguing with herself.

"Sort of... but not really. It's... well, it's about you, actually."


	12. Part Eleven

Part Eleven

"Oh." Wisely choosing not to add anything further, Giles instead focused on finishing his meal, barely aware of the crowing voice in his head. Perfect. You did well there, old chap... well done indeed. Very clever trap you laid. You just wait... any minute now, she's going to confirm your suspicions and this can all be out in the open and dealt with.

She watched him silently, wondering how to explain her fears and whether to at all. Eventually, she opted for the honest approach and drew a deep breath. "What I mean is... it's the opposite. I'm... um... you see... I think... Dawn is... spending too much time... with you... not the other way round." Her voice had become quieter as she spoke until it was little more than a whisper. "And I want it to be us spending all our time together... like we used to."

"Before I left, you mean."

She just nodded.

"But, Buffy... we do spend all our time together... we live together, we eat together, we work together..."

"But not really 'together'. It's automatic. We're like... what's the phrase?"

A soft sigh escaped him as he reluctantly agreed. "Ships in the night."

"Yeah... like that. Not that I ever really understood what that means, but you know what I mean." She wrinkled up her nose at the odd sentence she'd produced. "Anyway, the point is, we never just... do stuff... without it being habit and I know that it's my fault and I know that it's not actually possible for things to go back to how they were because of what I did, but I can still hope for it. I mean, you're always acting like it never happened so, I guess, if I pretended too we could start doing stuff together again."

A small frown creased his forehead and not for the first time, he let the comment and its related painful memory pass, aware that this was neither the time nor the place for that discussion. Instead, he focussed on the current matter. "But, we do, Buffy. All the time."

"No, we don't. I mean... yeah, we do as a group, but what I really meant was... us... as in you and me. Alone. Not necessarily training, but doing stuff... together... like... the friends we used to be. You and Dawn have got this whole music thing going on and that's great, but... what about us? I want to get to know you better, Giles. I want to fix what went wrong ... and I don't want to wait until you're gone before I realise what I've lost."

"Gone?" He quirked an eyebrow in confusion. "Where am I going, exactly?"

"You know."

He chuckled a little, withdrawing his hand to point to his still-confused expression. "Does this look like the face of someone who knows what you're talking about?"

She grimaced by way of response. "See? You've definitely been hanging out with Dawn too much, talking like that. Anyway, I meant when you go home."

"Home?"

"England." She clarified.

The eyebrow inched higher. "And when will I be going there?"

She shrugged and looked away, concentrating on aligning her cutlery on her plate. "Someday."

In a millisecond he was reaching across the table again, wondering if it was her heartache he was feeling, or his own.

"Buffy, look at me."

Slowly, she lifted her head and did as he requested, half holding her breath in anticipation.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"But -"

"There are no 'buts'." He rubbed his thumb soothingly across the back of her hand as he spoke. "I promise you, I have no intention of leaving either now or at any point in the future."

"Hmm. No offence, Giles, but you've gone before - so why wouldn't you do it again? Wait - don't answer that," she added before he could answer. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. What I meant to say is... well, whatever reason you had for leaving before must have been pretty big... and if I'm honest, I don't think I'll ever be not mad at you for going, 'cause, well... you went at a time when I needed you most. But, anyway... the point is, you went... and what's to say something huge won't come up again and you'll have to go back? Or, or what if you just feel like going back because you want to? I mean... England's your home, Giles... you must get lonely for it sometimes... and, it's not fair for us - for me - to keep you here if you really belong back there." She paused suddenly, blinking in surprise at the unexpected realisation. "I... just wanted to know where I stand, is all... 'cause if you're gonna leave, which you have every right to do, then I want to make the most of you while you're here."

"Well... like I said, I have no intention of going anywhere."

"Really?"

"Really." He smiled tenderly at her. "Do you know... you never cease to amaze me? Since the day you witnessed Dawn singing to me, I wondered - from your reaction - if perhaps you were still hurting over my leaving. I never imagined that it went deeper than that. I didn't even consider that you were miserable because you thought I was miserable. Well, I have a confession to make. You see... I'm not miserable. I'm not lonely for England - apart from the days when it gets too hot, but even then I would rather be here with all of you anyway. When I left before, it definitely seemed like the right thing to do. I was leaving because I felt I was in the way - in your way - and that you were relying on me too much. Had I known the hell you were going through, I never would have gone. I'm not going to make that mistake again... even with all that lays between us Stop worrying about me leaving, because I guarantee that I'm never going to leave unless you lot decide otherwise."

"Giles, I could never..." her eyes glistened with unshed tears of relief.

"Well, point made, then." He grinned softly. "Now - is there anything else that needs to be cleared up before we head back to the museum?"

Buffy nodded. "Can we still try and spend more time together, anyway?"

"Of course we can. Now, I'll just pay the bill and then we'll head back. We've a busy afternoon ahead of us." He stood up and took a step toward the cash register, before turning back to face her. "You keep this weekend free, and I promise we'll do something special... together... just the two of us."

He was rewarded with a dazzling smile.

"I'll do that."


	13. Part Twelve

Part Twelve

"Giles! I can't do this. It's too hard."

"Yes, you can."

"I can't! I don't have enough fingers."

"Dawn," Giles sighed patiently, "It's simply a matter of relaxation and concentration."

"Yeah, I know. You said that twice already. Doesn't mean I can do it any better, though. I mean... how do I relax and concentrate? If I concentrate, I tense up. So relaxing at the same time is a complete impossibility."

"No, it's not. Look, watch as I do it." He wrapped his hand around the neck of the guitar relaxing into a gentle grip as his fingers formed a 'B-minor' chord.

Dawn frowned with a mix of confusion and mild irritation at the easy way the chord suited his hand. "How did you do that? I can't do that. How did you do that?"

"You really do need to relax. If your muscles are tense, your fingers won't have any freedom to move quickly and easily into shape. If you're not confident enough to attempt the chord yet, then just practice loosening up your muscles - although I think you'll find that the chords you've learnt so far will have helped a great deal to that end."

"Hmm." She flexed her hand for a minute, before trying again. A small grunt of exasperation escaped as, yet again, she failed to produce a ringing chord. "Okay, I have to ask: why were bar chords created? I mean, they're impossible to play and that completely takes the fun out of it and even if they have some sort of weird purpose, why should I have to suffer the torment of learning them?" She drew a deep breath, adding, "After all, it's not like Elvis used many of them in his songs. I've been looking for something suitable for this assignment and he mostly uses the base chords. Even the song I finally decided on has only three bar chords in it and I'm pretty sure we could fake those."

"Fake them?" Giles' eyebrows shot skyward in perfect synchronisation with the pitch rising in his voice. "How do you know about faking chords?"

She grinned triumphantly back at him. "I read that stuff you gave me and got so into it all that I ended up looking up as much as possible on the 'net."

"Pardon?"

"Yeah, I was surprised too. I mean, I'm not you, you know? I don't read for fun much these days... but... this is different. It's really interesting and... it's helped a lot. I think I finally get what makes up a chord so I know that I could just play a 'D' chord but instead of playing an 'A' on the G-string, I could play a 'B'." The triumphant grin became smug. "Impressed?"

With a slow smile forming on his lips, he nodded. "I would be... if you were describing a 'B' minor chord with a 'D' in the bass - but the thing is, Dawn, quite often it is the bass note that makes a chord truly ring out - and it just wouldn't work if you cut the 'D' out altogether and only played the top three strings. But, nevertheless," he quickly added as he noticed her deflate slightly, "I am truly impressed by your eagerness to learn."

"Honest?"

The smile settled in place as he watched her perk back up. "Honest."

"Good." She glanced briefly down at where her hand still rested before flicking her gaze back up to him. "Not that I'm only doing it to impress you, of course. Nor anyone else for that matter. I'm not as shallow as Buffy thinks."

"Come on, Dawn, you know she didn't mean it like that."

She nodded in agreement. "You're right... she didn't. I just meant..." Her sentence trailed off as she realised she didn't know what she had meant and abruptly changed the subject. "Oh, I was meaning to thank you for that, by the way."

As if sensing the serious direction in which their conversation was suddenly headed, Giles laid aside his guitar and leaned back against the sofa.

"What exactly are you thanking me for?"

"For talking to Buffy." She paused, regarding his slightly puzzled expression, before enquiring, "You did talk to her, right?"

He nodded slowly. "I did. Why, has something happened?"

Dawn grinned in reply. "I'd say! It's like I have a brand new sister!" She giggled. "Well, maybe it's not that drastic, but she sure seems happier... well, most of the time. Sometimes she still gets miserable - and weirdly enough, it's usually right after she's been really, really happy - it's almost as if she thinks she doesn't deserve the happiness." She carried on, totally unaware of the darkness that had clouded his eyes. "But still, you know, on the whole, things are better. I mean... yesterday... get this... she apologised to me. To me! That's, like, the first time that's ever happened. She said she was sorry if she'd made me think she was mad at me 'cause she wasn't, she was mad at herself or something... I didn't get all of what she said; I was still recovering from the shock." She giggled again. "Anyway, the point is that whatever you did worked. So... thank you!" At these last words, she too set her guitar aside before leaning forward on all fours to plant a gentle kiss of appreciation on his slightly flushed cheek.

"You're... ah... you're more than welcome, Dawn. Although I think she worked more things out on her own than she realises."

"Yeah... but you helped... I know you did, you always do... and I'm guessing that it's something you've said that's gotten her so chirpy, lately. So, c'mon... what'd you say?"

"I..." He hesitated for only a moment as he considered the wisdom of sharing his part in that conversation with the teen, before ploughing on. "I simply told her that I had no intention of leaving and that we would do something special this weekend."

Dawn's eyes widened and she clamped a hand to her mouth, barely stifling a giggle. "That was what all this was about?" Before she could catch it, the giggle escaped. "There I was thinking... well, I'm not sure what it was, but it definitely wasn't this. So, basically, she wanted you all to herself?" This time the giggle grew into a peal of laughter and she stood up, shaking her head with amusement. "Why on earth didn't she just say?"

He laughed in unison with her, as he accepted the proffered hand that pulled him to his feet. "You know Buffy."

"Yuh-huh." Another girly laugh rang through the house and she tugged on the hand she held, leading Giles into the hallway. "Anyway, I'm gonna go get this music to show you, while you can make some drinks."

"Oh, I can, can I?" His eyes silently twinkled with good humour as he obeyed her instructions, heading toward the kitchen while she ascended the stairs. He halted momentarily when he heard his name called and looked back to see her hanging over the banister.

"And Giles? Once that's done, we can settle down all comfy-like and you can tell me what these plans of yours are for the weekend."

He groaned inwardly but kept a neutral expression on his face. "Why? Are you planning on being my assistant in making arrangements?"

A wicked grin formed on Dawn's lips. "I wouldn't say assistant, exactly... think more along the lines of... accomplice."


	14. Part Thirteen

Part Thirteen

"Why is everyone asking me - or telling me, in some cases - to open up to them?"

"Buffy -"

"No, seriously Will, I mean... first Xander begs me to talk to him, then Giles and now you. Do I have something stuck on my forehead that everyone but me can see that says, 'I'm depressed, ask me why?' on it? Am I giving off some sort of signal that suggests I need counselling? Or, is it just that everyone thinks that I'm their good deed for the day? What's going on?"

The redhead shifted uncomfortably in her seat, glancing nervously around her at the other customers in the Latte Lounge before sighing in defeat and turning her attention back to Buffy's unhappy expression. "O-okay, look... I'll retract my question and try and explain the weirdness... as long as you don't get mad or anything."

One perfectly sculpted eyebrow arched in surprise. "Me? Get mad?"

Wisely, the Wicca chose not to comment and instead took a deep breath before hesitantly enlightening her friend. "It... it's just... well...sometimes... firstly, you're not Fun-Buffy anymore. Where did Fun-Buffy go? You ought to be happy - with not being the only Slayer any more and therefore being able to actually have a life. Instead, you seem to be withdrawn and... well, depressed... a lot these days. Plus, the way you act around certain people makes us all wonder what's going in that head of yours."

The other eyebrow lifted in an exact imitation of its partner. "Certain people like who?"

Willow shook her head dismissively, ignoring the question. "The point is that it's weird. I mean, it's always been the four of us against the world, you know? And I just never thought I'd see the day things between us would get strained like this. I mean, we're never really comfortable together like we used to be... and... and I'm not making any sense, am I?"

With a slightly bemused look, Buffy silently indicated 'no' and was given a sheepish smile in return.

"Sorry. It's just hard to say... especially to you, 'cause you've been my best friend for years a-and I don't want to offend you." Willow paused for a moment, awaiting a response. When she received a small nod of confused encouragement, she continued. "What I mean is, well, we've always been best friends - the four of us - even throughout Giles' midlife crisis, your death, Xand's non-wedding and all the other tough stuff. Even through all that, it was like we were... bound... to each other. And it wasn't just our group dynamic; it was how we worked as... pairs. It was always me and Xand, you and Giles. Lately 'though, it feels like it's me, Xand and Giles... and then you. It's like you're pulling away from him... and us." She paused again, gathering up the courage to say what needed to be said. "You really want to know why we keep asking what's wrong? It's 'cause you've changed... a-and we're worried about you. These days you never want to be around Giles... and therefore, us, as a group. You get all... well, weird and it's like you're scared of something... like you're running away from... well, Giles. That's why Xand and I are worried. All this... it's so unlike you, Buffy. The only times I know of when you've pulled away from Giles like this were when Angel came back and when Olivia was around.. and somehow, I don't think this has anything to do with either of those. Am I right?"

The only answer she received was a reluctant, almost unnoticeable nod. Guessing that her friend wasn't yet ready to open up, Willow returned to her speech.

"And as for Giles... well, I'm guessing he's kind of noticed, too. The thing is... well, he's not looking at it from the outside. He's right there in the thick of it. He can't be objective about this, 'cause it's probably hurting him... not just emotionally but physically, too. I mean, like I said, you two have been an integral part of each others' lives for so long now that it must be like..." she cast around for the right metaphor, "losing a limb, not to have you confiding in him anymore. So... whatever it is that's got you acting so strangely, you need to sort it out before you hurt Giles - or yourself - any more."

The words hung in the air between them for several long moments before Buffy responded, her small sentence seemingly unattached to the conversation. "There was another time, too."

The redhead blinked in bewilderment at the odd remark. "Huh? What?"

Her eyes glazing over with sadness at the memory; her gaze fixing on some unseen thing, Buffy quietly expanded on her comment. "Back before we destroyed the First... I pulled away then, as well. Or, maybe I should say that I pushed Giles away. Whichever, that was when we lost our 'Us-ness'... and it was my fault. Oh, I know that from the outside it looked like his role in it was bigger than mine, but if I hadn't been depending on Spike so much and neglecting Giles, he probably wouldn't have felt the need to do what he did."

Curiosity painted itself on Willow's face, but wisely, she didn't interrupt.

As if knowing the silent question thundering in her friend's mind, Buffy answered it. "He... no, Robin... tried to dust Spike. Giles just... kept me distracted so I couldn't save him. He kept talking about how sacrifices had to be made. It took me a while, but I eventually clicked. When I got there, I saw... my god, Will, I didn't think they were capable of that. You could tell it had been planned for a while... Robin had hundreds of crosses covering every inch of wall and ceiling... there was no way either of them had planned for Spike to come out of that ali-" She hastily corrected herself, "Undead. I knew it wasn't just his fault, but I still blamed Giles so much over the whole thing... and that's why I pushed him away. Well, until I realised that it would never have happened if I had given Giles the chance to be the person I kept expecting Spike to be."

"What sort of person was that?" Willow's inquiry was soft, almost hesitant as she tried to understand her friend's behaviour better without causing a defensive reaction.

Buffy thought for a moment before answering. "I guess... in many ways... I expected Spike to be... um, Giles. It sounds weird, I know, but I wanted him to understand... and to care without any ulterior motive. Like Giles used to be... right back in the beginning. I wanted him to be a friend and to... to be warm. Does that make sense?" Her gaze cleared slightly as it settled on her friend. "I can't explain it myself. All I know is we both said and did some really horrible things to each other - and yet, Giles is acting like nothing happened at all. That's why things are... difficult... between us. I want to put things right, but I don't know how to with Giles acting the way he is. Plus, the other day he was promising he'd never leave and saying we'd do stuff together as if he's forgiven me... but that can't be true... he can't have... 'cause I don't deserve it. I hurt him, Will... I really, really hurt him... and I care about him, I care about him so much and I don't want him to be hurting and I know that by pulling away I'm making it worse, but..." she drew a breath at last, effectively stopping the runaway sentence before adding quietly, "I don't know how to undo it." A big fat tear spilled out before she could stop it; punctuating her anguish as it 'plopped' onto the oak wood.

Full of compassion, Willow reached across the table to take the Buffy's hands in hers. "Buffy -" 

Buffy jerked back from the touch instantly, as if scalded. "Don't."

Willow froze at the bizarre reaction, her hands still reaching out; her eyes wide with surprise. "What? What did I do?"

"He... Giles... did that the other day... and I... I don't deserve that. You shouldn't be reaching out to me... I don't deserve his... your pity. I'm the one who's wrecked things; I'm the bad guy in all of this."

Willow sighed softly, trying to make sense of the muddled young woman before her. "I'm confused, Buffy. I - I mean... what's got you so upset? Is it 'cause you want to makes Giles feel better or yourself? 'Cause it sounds like Giles has done some bad stuff too that you need to forgive him for and there's no point in seeking his forgiveness if you can't forgive him, or..." her sentence stopped abruptly as a sudden insight hit and she hurried to express it. "Or yourself. Oh, oh!" She exclaimed suddenly, withdrawing her hands so fast she nearly knocked her mug over. "That's what this is about, isn't it? All your depression lately, your weirdness... it's all about avoiding how you see yourself and what you feel inside. You can't stand the thought of him forgiving you, because you can't forgive yourself. You hate yourself because you've hurt the one person you really, really care about. Like when I, uh, cheated on Oz with..." Her sentence trailed off as she noticed a light of dawning realisation shimmer in the eyes opposite hers.

Intrigued, she watched in silence as various emotions played across Buffy's face. Aware that there was a lot more going on underneath that confused exterior, Willow drew a little nearer to her friend, this time successfully clasping her hand.

"Say, Buff.. how about we save this conversation for somewhere a little more private? I know, we'll have a good old-fashioned girly day on Saturday and you can tell me everything while I do your nails and I'll get you up to date on things with me and Summer while you do mine. We haven't done that in a while."

At the mention of the coming weekend, Buffy seemed to snap out of her thoughts and gave Willow a look that was half-excited, yet half full of trepidation.

"Oh... uh... I can't this Saturday, Will, I'm sorry. It's just... um... Giles has promised that we'd have some alone time."

"Oh." Carefully hiding her internal reaction, Willow gave a warm smile. "Okay."

Oh boy. This could be interesting.


	15. Part Fourteen

Part Fourteen

As Buffy slowly pushed the front door open, she was greeted by the sounds of music and laughter. Curious, she softly shut the door behind her and crept to the doorway of the lounge and peeked around the door frame to watch and listen.

"No, seriously Giles, tell me what really happened."

Neither teacher nor pupil noticed their audience and there was more laughter before the former replied. Buffy could hear the warm humour and fondness in his voice as he shared the memory.

"Oh, okay, but you must promise not to repeat this." When he received an affirming nod, the Englishman crouched and lowered his voice secretively. "I simply told her that she was being unfair, 'mooned' the poor woman as you would call it these days... and ran off laughing. When mum got wind of it, she couldn't decide whether to scold me or congratulate me... I could tell, because she was trying not to laugh when she did eventually tell me off. Poor Miss Hiney... I don't think many people liked her at all... no surprise, really, considering how unkind she was."

Shock was written all over Dawn's face as she struggled to form an audible response.

"I... I... oh my... wow!" A giggle finally burst forth, despite her still stunned expression. "I can't believe... my god, Giles... you were such a... a... terror... when you were little. I can't believe that you showed that poor old woman your butt just to make a point."

Giles chuckled once more as he returned to his feet. "I was eight years old, Dawn... all children are terrors at that age."

Dawn stopped giggling long enough to plaster an indignant, self-righteous expression on her face. "I wasn't. I was innocently angelic."

At this, Buffy joined in the laughter with a snort and a splutter, entering the room properly to stare at her sister in amazement.

"How can you sit there and say that, considering all the times you stole mom's lipstick, pinched all the cookies, drew on my schoolwork and screamed blue murder at dad for not letting you take your blankie to preschool? Huh? You weren't angelic, you were a little devil."

"I was not!"

"You were too." Buffy insisted. "You were a total nightmare to live with. You always... what?" She turned suddenly as she became aware of Giles watching her closely. "Have I got something on me?"

"No, nothing..." he replied absently.

"What, then?"

"I was... uh... I was just wondering how long you'd been standing there."

Buffy flashed him a teasing grin. "Oh, long enough to know that you were a very naughty boy... and that if I was your mother I'd have taken you over my lap and pulled your trousers d..." A brilliant shade of red dashed up her neck to flood her cheeks and she coughed awkwardly before quickly changing the subject. "So, Dawn... how's the assignment coming on?"

Swallowing down a laugh, Dawn beamed at her sister by way of reply. "Great!" She turned and looked up at the man beside her. "Tell her what you told me, Giles."

He smiled affectionately down at her, before crossing the room to sit on the sofa. He beckoned Buffy over with a hand as he spoke, pride evident in his voice. "She's quite right, Buffy; she's doing very well. You would think that an instrument couldn't be learnt well in such a short period of time, yet Dawn has proven - yet again - to be the exception to the norm. She has shown remarkable dedication to both practicing and learning. Add in what I believe is a natural gift for music and I think it's fair to say that she is almost there with her song. All it just needs is perhaps some more work on the bar chords and some final polishing here and there, then she'll be ready for her performance, I'm certain."

"Oh, I... I'm not so sure about that..." Dawn's voice sounded odd suddenly, her eyes holding a panicked expression, not unlike that of a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. "I... I mean, aren't there other things I need to learn? Um... uh... what about that weird thingy you bought... that, that cap-thingy? Yeah, I-I'm sure I need to learn all about that before I do any p-p-performing."

"Nonsense, Dawn." Giles smiled serenely at his student. "I can teach you that later. You don't need a capo for your song, just a little more practice."

"Really? 'Cause I was thinking... uh... well, maybe you're right... I do need to practice more...but not a little... a lot... yeah, a lot-lot..." There were small tremors in her voice now, its tone rising gradually in pitch causing her sister to look at her in confusion.

"What's up, Dawnie? I thought you were looking forward to doing this."

"I... I was," the younger Summers admitted. "But... not in front of millions of people."

"Millions is a slight exaggeration, don't you think?"

"Okay... thousands. Doesn't matter... I can't do it."

"Don't be silly, Dawn... of course you can."

"No, I can't! I just can't sing in front of everyone... in fact, knowing my luck I probably won't. I bet something hellmouthy will happen like I'll lose my voice or I'll forget the words, or, or worse... I'll wish the earth will swallow me whole and it actually will... whatever, in some way I'll screw it up, I always do."

Giles watched the exchange between the two with amusement, finally deciding that now would be a good time to cut in. "Firstly, Dawn, relax. Stop worrying. You will be just fine... trust me on this. Secondly, Buffy, this isn't something silly. Stage fright is something quite normal - you should know that from your own experience at the talent show in your second year."

From where she sat at the far end of the couch, Buffy shuddered at the memory, prompting a grin to form on Giles' lips.

"Point made, I do believe." He turned back to Dawn as an idea struck him. "Why don't you play the song now, to just Buffy and I, before we sort out dinner? It'll be good practice for you... and then, gradually you could play it to more people, like Xander and Willow and then, in time, maybe Summer, David and Ellen and Christopher. How does that sound?"

"Pretty much like I have no choice." She grumbled, obediently lifting her guitar out of its open case. She fiddled with it for a while, adjusting the strap and checking the tuning, even though she knew full well that there was no need.

Watcher and Slayer observed the ritual with amusement, automatically turning to each other with a smile.

Weird thought Buffy, how this doesn't feel weird. She settled back more comfortably into her chair as she awaited her sister's recital.

As Giles took in Buffy's more relaxed demeanour, his smile grew. It's good to see the old Buffy back.


	16. Part Fifteen

Part Fifteen

"When you're ready, Dawn," Giles invited patiently, as he turned his attentions back to the youngster.

"Okay, okay," she replied reluctantly, realising she could put this off no longer. Hiding her nervousness, she mimicked a compere's voice. "Lady and Gentleman... tonight, for one night only, I give you... Dawn... singing 'Always on my Mind' by Elvis Presley."

Buffy and Giles provided the required welcoming applause as Dawn fidgeted nervously again.

"I-I can't do this."

"You can, Dawn... you know you can... you've been playing this for me all afternoon." Giles insisted gently.

"Yeah, but... I can't do it in front of Buffy."

"Why not?" The blonde inquired a hint of indignation in her tone. "What's Giles got that I haven't? Huh? Why can you sing for him, but not for me?"

"It's not like that, Buffy, it's..." Dawn sighed, trying to find a way to explain. "You're my sister... no-one wants to screw up and look bad in front of their older brother or sister. You're like... you've always set an example, you've always been perfect and I don't want you to see that I can't live up to your standards."

"Oh, Dawn," Buffy murmured softly, tears threatening to well up at the contradictions her mind was producing in argument to her sister's explanation. "I'm not perfect... I've screwed up hundreds of times - you just weren't always there to see it. I mean hello? Angel and Spike? Both big mistakes... believe me, I don't want you following in my footsteps at all. The only standard I want you 'living up to' is being happy by being yourself. Okay?"

"Okay," came a quiet mumble from the slightly bowed head. After a moment, Dawn lifted her head once more and strummed an 'E' chord, checking the tuning for the final time before hesitantly beginning her song.

"Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could have;  
And maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as I...

She paused, struggling to shape the chord correctly.

Giles took the opportunity to lean towards Buffy, whispering, "That's the final polishing we need to do."

She grinned at him in reply, surprised at how easy it was to do so, but stopping as she became aware of Dawn glaring at them.

"Should have."

At last Dawn managed to make her tone forceful in an effort to silence her audience. Satisfied with their stillness, she continued to the bridge, returning to the same gentle voice she had used to begin the song.

"If I made you feel second best, girl I'm sorry I was blind.  
You were always on my mind; you were always on my mind.  
Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died.  
Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied.  
I'll keep you satisfied."

She paused for breath - and effect - momentarily before launching into the second verse, her voice a little stronger.

"And maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times..."

Giles felt a lump rise in his throat at the words and quickly swallowed it down. This is ridiculous. I've heard these words before... several times today alone, in fact... and... the first time was one thing... but they shouldn't still be affecting me like this... and yet... I can't seem to help it... they're just so... apt. He chanced a sidelong glance at the Slayer whom he would always consider his, unaware of her tumultuous thoughts as Dawn continued singing.

"And I guess I never told you: I'm so happy that you're mine..."

That was where I went wrong. I never told him how I happy I am with him... how happy I am that he is mine. At least... I hope he still is, after everything I've done. I guess it's about time I talked to him. Will and Xand are right. I need to talk to him, tell him these things and beg, if I have to, for his forgiveness. I guess that means that I need to start forgiving myself.

"Little things I should have said and done;  
I just never took the time..."

Yep, that's me too, Buffy silently admitted. Never taking the time to show people that I care. Stupid, selfish Buffy. No wonder Giles did what he did - I never gave him any reason to think that Spike was no threat and that I actually valued his opinion over Spike's. Oh wow, this is gonna take some big-time fixing.

"Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died.  
Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied.  
I'll keep you satisfied."

Buffy risked a peek at Giles and was surprised to find him watching her just as discretely. She looked away quickly, but not before she felt her cheeks grow warm at the thought that flitted through her mind. Can I keep you satisfied? She was certain she was blushing profusely by now, yet couldn't help answering the thought. I'd like to. A little shiver of something she couldn't describe tingled down her spine and she sternly corrected herself. As a Slayer and a friend, of course. She was barely aware of Dawn reaching the coda as thoughts and emotions raced round her head, vying for her attention

"Little things I should have said and done;  
I just never took the time."

One memory in particular stood out; the recollection of Willow's words to her earlier that evening. "That's what this is about, isn't it? All your depression lately, your weirdness... it's all about avoiding how you see yourself and what you feel inside. You can't stand the thought of him forgiving you, because you can't forgive yourself. You hate yourself because you've hurt the one person you really, really care about. Like when I, uh, cheated on Oz with..."

"You were always on my mind..."

It's not the same though...

"You are always on my mind..."

Is it?

"You are always on my mind."

Breaking free of her thoughts as the song ended, Buffy gave Dawn a proud, sisterly, smile and joined Giles in applauding her achievement. "Well done, Dawnie. I knew you'd do it." She paused for a moment, still clapping, before adding softly, "The real thing will go just fine, too... just you wait and see."

Seemingly boosted by this confidence, Dawn smiled shyly back at her sister. "If you say so."

"I do say so." Buffy's smile held in place, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "And you wanna know what my belly's saying? It's saying it's time for dinner. So, why don't you set the table while Giles gets cooking? I, in the meantime am going to do a little packing."

Giles groaned at her announcement. "Buffy, when I told you last night that I had booked a couple of rooms at a bed and breakfast, I meant for one night only... and, considering that you've already packed and repacked twice, I don't think you need to do so, again. We'll be returning on Sunday... not the following week."

"You can never be too prepared, Giles. Isn't that what you've always told me?" Not waiting for an answer, she darted past him and out of the room - almost sprinting up the stairs. Ignoring his plea for her to cut down on the amount of shoes she'd packed, her mind locked on one thought.

This is not good. This is so not good. I want to keep him satisfied? What the hell is wrong with me?


	17. Part Sixteen

Part Sixteen

Deciding to forego cooking, Giles settled for ordering a pizza and chopping up a side salad. Because, of course - we must have something healthy with all those 'carbs', he thought to himself with a smirk as he retrieved a cucumber from the salad drawer. After all, we don't want Buffy gaining even an ounce of cellulite. She'd never be able to wear a bikini again.

He almost snorted at the recollection of her last outburst over this matter, before his mind unwillingly - or so he tried to convince himself - conjured an image of her standing before him in the skimpiest bikini possible, flesh glistening in the sunlight after a dip in the sea. He suppressed a groan at the picture painted in his mind, all-too-aware of Dawn's presence in the next room. Clearing his throat awkwardly, he returned his attentions to the vegetable before him, wincing slightly as he forcefully chopped the end off.

Well, that'll certainly do the job in calming him down. He groaned softly and lay the knife down, before turning around to lean against the counter, lost in thought.

Why is it that she affects me like this? A grunt of annoyance at the absurdity of the question escaped into the air. Stupid, bloody idiot. You know full well why she affects you. Perhaps it would be more appropriate to ask why you keep falling for the wrong women.

Not ready to answer that question, he turned around once more and picked up the knife, beginning to cut chunky slices. Part of his mind rebelled against his avoidance, however, quickly supplying an answer. Men throughout the ages have asked themselves the same question and I doubt I'll be the first to answer it. The fact of the matter is... He paused, mid-slice, pondering for a long moment what the facts really were. The fact is that you can't help who you fall in love with and you can't help it that most of the time they don't return your feelings.

As if in reply, his heart reminded him of the first time he'd realised his love for Buffy. How is it that someone can look so incredibly beautiful when they're so intensely angry? His mind repeated the question that had sounded the night he'd discovered the truth of his feelings. Refusing to be pulled into the memory, Giles turned back and swiftly quartered the slices, throwing them into the waiting salad bowl.

"Just leave it be, you old fool," he muttered under his breath, "What's the use in rehashing the past or dreaming of the future? You know she'll never look at you that way, not even if -"

"Giles, are you okay?"

The Englishman startled and swung rapidly around at the sound of Dawn's voice behind him - nearly knocking over the now-full salad over in the process.

"Dawn! You should know better than to sneak up on people!" He nudged the glass bowl away from where it balanced precariously at the edge of the counter with one hand, while raising the other to cover his thundering heart.

She stared hard at him, torn between confusion and amusement. "But I wasn't sneaking, Giles. I called your name at least three times. It's not my fault that you were so busy convincing yourself that 'she'll never see you that way' that you didn't hear me. Anyway, who's 'she'? And what 'way' would this be?"

"I... uh..." he stuttered helplessly as he tried in vain to work out an escape. "She... um... I... uh... well... th-that's none of your business." Mentally pulling himself together despite his crimson cheeks, Giles straightened to his full height; attempting to regain his authority by towering over the teen. The desired effect was lost however, as he realised that she now stood nearly as tall as he.

Dawn grinned cheekily at him, not at all threatened. "Oooh... I see... it's a smoochie-way! Giles is in lurve!" She giggled girlishly. "Is there someone you like, Giles? Someone who you want to like you, too? Hmm? You gonna be singing any Beatles songs anytime soon?" The giggles grew and she moved past him to claim the salad bowl before retreating to the safety of the doorway once more, laughter still shining in her eyes. She paused long enough in her mirth to lower her voice conspiratorially: "Don't worry, Giles... your secret's safe with me."

With that, she darted out of the room and away from Giles who now leaned against the counter with a mortified expression.

"This... is... nuts." The muffled exclamation came from the blonde backing out of her closet; arms laden with clothes of every type and colour. "Why do I keep having this ridiculous conversation with myself... and why is it so hard to choose the right outfits? This is only Giles, after all... it's not like I'm going on a date, or anything."

Of course, you're right; you always are, aren't you? It's only Giles. It's not a date. It's not as if you might actually be falling for him. An amused voice whispered into her mind. "Exactly." Proud of her ability to ignore the latter part of the thought, Buffy started sorting the garments into three piles: 'definitely', 'maybe' and 'no way'.

The voice continued to prick at her awareness regardless of her ignorance. Sure. After all, you're not choosing that particular dress because Giles told you he liked it, are you? And you're not thinking of burning that top because you're worried Giles will think you look slutty in it, either, are you?

Buffy began humming loudly in an attempt to drown out the voice as she threw the aforementioned very-low-cut top onto the 'no way' pile. Unfortunately, the voice refused to be silenced. Stop trying to deny it - you're out to impress Giles... you know it's the truth and you know why, too. You love him. Admit it. You love Giles and you want to impress him 'cause you want him to love you, too.

"Yeah, right." Buffy snorted, mid-hum. She paused in her sorting as she responded huffily to her conscience. "Like anyone as... generous a-and forgiving could love someone as mean and selfish as me. I'd need to do more than change my clothes to impress him... I'd need to have a personality transplant. Plus, it's... it's just... don't be stupid. Me? In love with Giles? That's... that... that's just... stupid."

Quickly, she returned to her task; this time concentrating more intently on her task and humming even louder as she shut out the voice that pointed to the truth. Still the voice persisted, despite the growing intensity of her hum and angry edge it held. Finally she snapped. "Just shut up and go away, already!" The second the irritated growl left her lips, a bang sounded behind her. Turning toward the sound, Buffy took in the sight of her bedroom door bouncing off her chest of drawers and her sister backing quickly away from the doorway.

"Dawn? Wait... I didn't mean you, I was just... well... okay, maybe you should be yelled at, 'cause a little privacy would be nice. You know you shouldn't be barging in on me... or, well, anyone for that matter. I could've been naked or... something."

Recovering quickly from her shock, Dawn straightened and crossed her arms over her chest, staring her sister in the eye. "Hey, don't get all defensive with me. I only came up to tell you that the pizza's here and then I got worried about you. I'm sorry for not knocking and waiting for some crazy humming thing to stop killing you and invite me in."

"Crazy humming thing?" A faint hue of embarrassment crept slowly up the Slayer's neck and she turned quickly back to her packing. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"How could you not have heard...? Oh." Eyes growing wide with realisation, a smirk formed on the teen's lips. "I get it. You were trying not to talk to yourself. Well, you resisted better than Giles."

"Giles? What's Giles got to do with anything? I-I wasn't talking about Giles... why'd you mention Giles?"

"Relax, Sis', I was only saying that he was talking to himself, too. He was a bit saner than you 'though... didn't resort to weird noises."

"Oh." The Slayer breathed an audible sigh of relief before sucking her breath back in sharply as her sister continued.

"Maybe you're trying to convince yourself you don't have the hots for someone too, for all I know. That would be just so typical. Everyone has someone except me. Well, at least I'll have a whole pizza to myself seeing as you're obviously not interested. Plus, as of about fourteen hours' time, I'll have the house to myself, too."

Eager to eat while the food was still hot, Dawn made her second speedy escape for the evening, ignoring the stutters of denial coming from the blonde too stunned to move.


	18. Part Seventeen

Part Seventeen

"Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Yes, I'm sure." The brunette replied patiently to the couple questioning her.

"Are you really sure? Absolutely certain?"

"Yes." She insisted with a sigh, as if she was talking to children instead of grown adults. "Look, Will and Xand are like, two minutes away - probably less if I run really fast - should I need them. And I'm not exactly gonna invite vamps into the house, am I?" At her sister's dubious look, she sighed again. "I know what you're thinking - and you know, that whole thing with Harmony was what: four, maybe five years ago? Haven't you let go of that yet?" She turned to the dark-haired young man beside her.

"Tell them, Xand."

Cheerily he obliged, eager to see Watcher and Slayer head off and hopefully get an opportunity to thrash out their issues. "She's right, Buff. She's not stupid... well," he added with a teasing sparkle, "Not very. You can trust her and you can trust us to look out for her. Besides... it's only for two days."

The blonde glowered up at him through her open window. "You and I both know that a lot can happen in two days, Alexander Harris."

"Relax Buffy, it'll be fine." Willow stepped forward and patted her friend's forearm reassuringly. "Now go, have fun and try not to get yourself killed... or knocked unconscious." This directed to Giles, she continued; "The house will still be standing when you get back, I promise... and so will we. So go on - take her away, Giles - before she tries to get me to ward the place or something." Moving backward, the redhead wrapped an arm around the teen beside her and grinned as Giles obediently switched on the ignition.

"Take care, you three." He smiled affectionately at the group assembled on the pavement before bidding their friends farewell and pulling away.

A chorus of 'goodbyes' responded and the friends remaining waved until the car disappeared out of sight.

"Finally." Dawn sighed dramatically and grinned, wrapping an arm about each friend as the trio headed back inside the house. "I thought they'd never go. Now, let's party!"

"Do you really think they'll be alright?"

Just as Dawn had done, Giles blew out a long, steady sigh. "They'll be fine."

"Maybe we should go back, just to be sure..."

"Buffy, stop worrying." He frowned as he concentrated on pulling out onto the busy road, before eventually adding, "I promise they can cope without us for a few days." He spared a sideways glance at her, suddenly uncertain that this had been a wise decision as he forced a patient smile onto his lips. "Now, I suggest you just sit back and enjoy the scenery."

"So, what do you guys think? Reckon they'll work out their issues?" Xander's inquiry was muffled slightly as he worked the words out around a mouthful of waffle and syrup. "I mean, we won't have to send a team over to pick up the pieces that used to be known as Buffy and Giles afterwards, will we?"

Willow smiled at him over her glass of juice and shook her head slightly. "I don't think it'll get as bad as that, but yeah, I think - well, I hope - that they do work things out... it's way overdue."

"You're tellin' me." Xander ignored the baffled look Dawn flashed his way as she watched the conversation unfold. "Last time I had a one-on-one with her, she had this crazy theory that Giles was gonna 'poof' off the face of the planet. Has she said anything to you, Wills?"

"A bit, but not much. From what Buffy said, this goes back to before we moved here... she didn't mention the 'poof' thing, but there was some intense stuff with Giles and Spike and Robin and... well, it's, uh... complicated would be an understatement."

"It's a bit weird though, don't you think?" Dawn at last contributed. "I mean, she's been really weird on and off for a long time - which isn't unusual for my sister, I grant you - but then lately, she's actually been interested in my life and acting happy, especially this week. It's kind of like someone's come along and pushed her 'happy' button." The teen pulled a face as realised how her words sounded. "You know what I mean."

Willow's expression turned thoughtful as she sipped on her drink, mulling over Dawn's statement. "Yeah, actually..." she murmured, "I think I do."

"How so?"

A gentle smile took form on the redheads' mouth as she replied to Xander's confusion. "Think about it, Xand. Buffy's been all 'the whole world is against me' ever since we brought her back; more so since what happened at the vineyard. She's tried in her typical way not to let it show, so that she wouldn't drag us all down with her."

"Yup. Sounds like Buffy when she's going through her usual 'poor old me' routine."

Willow ignored Dawn's comment as she organised her thoughts. "If it really is to do with... what she told me... and you... then it all makes sense; especially if she's as genuinely happy as she's seemed to be this week."

Xander halted her, holding up a hand. "Speak English, Will. What makes sense? What's going on?"

"Giles." She spoke the answer softly; affection filling her voice as realisation dawned. "It's Giles. Trust me when I say that there's a lot of stuff to get through first, but it's Giles. He's the one who she's all... anguished... about, but the minute he said he'd whisk her away and have some 'them' time, she was like a different person. It's obvious, don't you see it?"

"Yeah, I see it." Xander absently bit off another chunk of waffle, chewing it slowly as he allowed his friend's words to penetrate his brain. He choked slightly as they connected with his own realisations and looked up at her with a watering eye. "I see it."

"What? What do you see?" Dawn looked between the two of them, utterly befuddled before turning back to her breakfast with a mutter. "Fine. Don't tell me. It's not like I care, anyway. As long as whatever you see stops Buffy being jealous of me spending time with Giles , I'm happy. Actually, what would make me really happy would be if Buffy got the guy she's 'obviously-but-won't-admit-it' in love with and Giles got his girl. Then maybe I'd get some peace around here instead of crazy people talking to themselves."

One wide hazel coloured eye met two sparkling green ones across the table and the friends grinned at each other.

"Yep, now I definitely see it." Xander confirmed.


	19. Part Eighteen

Part Eighteen

"Wow, Giles, it's so... pretty... out here." Shielding her eyes from the glare of the early afternoon sun, the blonde looked up at the Englishman walking beside her.

"Mm-hmm." He simply murmured a quiet agreement as he walked, enjoying the almost-relaxed atmosphere between them. They continued to amble along the otherwise deserted footpath in companionable silence for several moments until Buffy spoke up once more, her soft voice startling him out of his thoughts.

"Giles?"

He halted as he sensed her stopping, and turned to find her watching him with an unreadable expression. "Yes, Buffy?"

"I, uh, I just wanted to say... well... thanks." She offered a small smile. The smile grew as she watched him respond with a warm smile of his own.

"I believe that's the fifth time you've said that since we left. And for the fifth time, you know you're more than welcome." He made to step forward again, but was stopped as her hand hesitantly reached out to brush against his arm.

"No, really."

Turning back to her, his smile took on a bemused quality. "Really... what?"

"Really... um... thank you." She paused for a minute, and then commented, "Yep, that makes six. Just... I guess..." A soft puff of air escaped her parted lips in a small sigh as she floundered for the right words. "I just wanted you to um, to know that... well, that I'm not just saying it, you know? I wanted - I want - you to know that I mean it. I promised myself a while back that I wouldn't be 'Takes-Everything-For-Granted-Girl', anymore... that I wouldn't say important stuff like this unless I mean it. I admit, I haven't been doing too well with that, but figured now would be a good time to start over... and I'm rambling, aren't I? Which so isn't what I meant to say, 'cause it sounds like I'm trying to prove a point when all I really wanted to say is just "Thanks", you know? 'Cause you do so much for all of us and we never thank you enough and what you're doing this weekend - giving it up to spend time with me and to fix whatever it is that's broken with us - is really special and deserves some sort of thanks so thanks... and I'm still rambling. Please, shut me up." She looked up at him, her eyes silently pleading with his sparkling ones as she noticed a smirk playing on his lips.

"Giles, please! This isn't funny, I'm trying to be straight with you here - something that's, like, way overdue. Laughing at me right now is so not the way to fix things."

"I'm sorry, Buffy." He attempted a sincere apology, but he couldn't stop his mirth from spilling out. In between giggles, he managed to get the odd word or two out. "It's just... it's good... to see you... like this... even... rambling." His giggles quieted as he reflected, "It's been quite some time since you've done that... it reminds me of how you, er, we, used to be."

Her expression became thoughtful as she considered the truth in his words. "Maybe it's the effect of this place."

"Do you really believe that?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Okay," she corrected herself, "What I meant is that, it's just you and me, here. I kinda feel relaxed 'cause there's no pressure to be slay-gal or ideas-gal or big-sister or substitute-mom... I can just be... well, me. Plus, there's the whole you and me getting to spend time together thing - which is always of the good. It's just..." Her sentence trailed off and she found herself sighing again, not quite ready to confront the issues that had created the enormous gulf that separated her from the man beside her.

"Buffy?" He prompted and was surprised when she turned glistening eyes up to him. "What...?"

"Look, can we just... not do this now? Things are going okay between us. Let's not wreck it. I'm gonna head back and get some lunch instead. You coming?" Without waiting for an answer and hoping and praying that he would let the matter rest, Buffy turned around and started moving back toward the lodge, stopping after several paces when she realised he was still rooted to the spot.

"Giles?"

She watched him for a moment then jogged lightly back to him. He stood as still as a statue, arms now crossed against his chest while his head bowed as if deep in thought.

"Giles? A hungry Slayer is a cranky Slayer, remember?" She teased, hoping to draw out any small sign of life from him. There. She saw the tiniest of smiles flit across his lips as he at last broke from his stance. The smile was gone as quickly as it came, his eyes now filled with concern as his gaze settled on her.

"Believe it or not, Buffy, I'm not half as stupid as I look."

A small sound of protest escaped her lips, but he continued before she could interrupt him.

"I know that something's bothering you - and that it has been for quite some time. Don't insult my intelligence by pretending otherwise. In fact, I could probably guess what it is, if I wanted to, and the chances are that I'd be right, but I won't. That's for you to tell me in your own time - I only suggest that we make it sometime soon - while we have the opportunity to be alone and uninterrupted. Which brings me to -"

"Giles, I -"

"Buffy, please let me just say this one thing."

Her eyes widened at the steady, but commanding tone in his voice and she meekly nodded her accord.

There was a brief moment of stillness as Giles drew a deep breath, ignoring the increase of his heart pounding against his ribcage.

"I... I miss y-" he coughed awkwardly, before correcting himself. "I, uh, what I mean to say, is... the, er, the closeness that we used to share... that's what I miss... and I'd like it very much if we could restore that. But, I can't do it alone. I want you to want it, too -"

"I do!"

Ignoring her outburst, he added, "But I can't force you to - especially not when you keep pulling away. I'm afraid that until we talk this through, we'll remain in this position o-of... uh... well, whatever it is that we're in and that's not good for either of us - or those we care about. You hold the key, Buffy. It's up to you to make things happen."

He fell silent at last, patiently awaiting her response. He didn't have to wait long.

"If... if you buy lunch, now, I promise we'll talk tonight. That a deal?"

Despite the concern still in his eyes, Giles nodded, accepting the temporary truce. "Deal." He affirmed with a nod.

"Cool." Eager to break the tension, she offered up a small but cheeky grin. "Race you to the dining room." She took off at a fair speed and glanced back at him moving slowly up the hill behind her. "Come on! Last one there misses out on dessert!" She ran off again, this time not glancing back as she used her slayer-speed to her advantage; leaving Giles jogging slowly in her wake, all the while grumbling good-naturedly about not being in a hurry to spend more money.


	20. Part Nineteen

Part Nineteen

Buffy paced endlessly around the small single room she'd been allocated, worrying the hem of her halterneck as she traced her steps; trying to ignore the sickening sensation in her gut coupled with the way her skin was buzzing with nervous heat.

"Why did I agree to this insanity?" Realising her idiocy at asking her question to an empty room, she paused long enough to smack her forehead before resuming pacing. Stupid Buffy. Stupid, stupid Buffy. Don't start talking to yourself again... this is really not a good time. She checked her watch for what seemed like the zillionth time and sighed heavily, stopped to sit down, fidgeted for a moment, then got up once more. As if in response to her turmoil, a soft knock sounded at the door and she stilled in her pacing. Silence stretched out for an eternity before Buffy at last invited her visitor in and swallowed hard, no longer able to ignore the way her stomach lurched in anticipation.

"Hey, Giles." Trying to hide her slightly trembling voice, she gave him what she hoped was a warm smile, but feared that the outcome was unsuccessful, judging by the confused look he gave her. She watched as he closed the door behind him and cautiously approached her, unable to work out what was different about him; there was something off, he looked... it took a second before she at last managed to work it out: he looked apprehensive... almost as if he didn't believe that she'd be honest with him. Eyes widening at the thought, she found herself mentally clamping down on the sudden hurt and anger that quelled within her I guess I deserve that. She stepped backwards until she felt the bed behind her knees and sank slowly onto it while gesturing for him to take the comfy-looking chair in the corner opposite.

"So..."

"Indeed."

They watched each other for a long moment before each averted their gaze elsewhere: Buffy's eyes lowered to fix on the subtle pattern in the carpet while Giles' focus locked on the painting above the bed. A heavy silence cloaked the room and it was several painstakingly long minutes before either of them dared to speak.

"Buffy, I -"

She slowly raised her eyes back up to his, half-afraid of what she would see in his expression. When their gazes met once more, somehow, she wasn't surprised to discover that whatever he was feeling right now was being kept well hidden. Wisely, she decided not to speak and instead just nodded gently, silently encouraging him to continue.

He glanced away momentarily before speaking again. "I'm sorry if you feel under pressure to open up to me. This isn't what I intended, when I mentioned it earlier. I'd... I'd just like for us to be as comfortable with each other as we used to be."

"Yeah, I'd like that, too, Giles." Buffy at last agreed softly. "But..." She bit her tongue, uncertain how to explain herself. As it was, Giles attempted to finish her sentence for her.

"Sometimes, it's just not possible, I agree. I can't help but apologise again, Buffy. I shouldn't have pushed you into something that's probably not even necessary. After all, here I am wanting something that's impossible. We can't go back to how we were, because that's not who we are anymore." He halted suddenly as a feminine snort sounded.

"As true as that is, Giles, it's also really stupid. Not that I'm calling you stupid, just your theory." After a beat, she corrected herself. "Actually, maybe you are being stupid." At the frown that suddenly marred his features, she quickly added, "Well, sorry, but you can't act like I've done nothing wrong and that we don't need to talk about it. Why do you think we got like this in the first place?" She waited for an answer, but only received a raised set of eyebrows by way of response.

"Huh. Typical guy. Why aren't I surprised that you don't know what you've done? Giles, this would all be... well, not exactly normal... but, well, different at least if we'd had this conversation a long time ago."

If it was at all possible, the eyebrows pitched higher. "What conversation? Are you referring to us moving on, or our inability to discuss problems in our... relationship?"

"The second one. I mean, look at us, Giles. Let's talk about our communication breakdowns for just a second." Buffy held up a hand and started ticking off items with her fingers as she talked.

"First, there was the whole 'Master-Destined-to-Kill-Me' issue that you discussed with Angel instead of me... no, wait, before that, there was that teeny, tiny little lie you told about not having done magic before. Then, there was my whole 'I'm-so-in-Love-With-Angel-No-one-Else-Matters' phase that hurt you and pretty much everybody else and let's not forget it nearly resulted in the world ending."

She drew a breath and lifted her ring finger to signify her fourth recollection. "Then when it didn't end and I ran away and came back, everyone tore pieces out of me including mom - actually, especially mom. But you didn't. You just welcomed me back into your life as if I'd just got back from getting some donuts. Sure, maybe you thought you were doing me a favour by not jumping on the 'Buffy's Bad' bandwagon but maybe we needed to talk about it; maybe things would have been different if we had. Then Angel came back and as usual, I screwed up by not talking to you and centering my idiotic existence around him. Oh, and then we move into the really fun parts of our history together. Remember the whole 'Cruciamentum' test-thingy that you didn't tell me about 'cause you cared more about your job than about me?" Another deep breath followed before she quietly calmed herself at the memory.

"I'm over it, honest. It's just that it was such a huge deal at the time, you know? I know it wasn't really that way and that I came out of the whole thing stronger, but I still think you really should have told me. Anyway, moving on... let's talk about Faith. She really helped us perfect our talking abilities, don't you think? What with the whole 'making me not tell anyone about killing the Deputy' thing and all. And while we're talking about Faith, let's just mention that we never did talk about what I did for Angel after she poisoned him. Now let's skip forward to my not-so-great college years... which pretty much sucked from the first day. When I needed you, I made unfair, hurtful and basically stupid comments simply because you'd gotten a life and then I tried to... well, let's just say my beer incident pretty much speaks for itself. So much of this shouldn't have happened and wouldn't have if we'd just been open and honest with each other. I mean, if I'd told you about Riley as soon as I knew about him, who knows how differently things might have turned out? It's like I'm just so... I don't know... whenever I get a guy, the rest of the world pretty much vanishes into thin air."

She stopped abruptly as an epiphany hit her square between the eyes.

"I just get so... obsessive, I guess. Look at my track history: Angel, Riley, Spike... eurgh, no wonder things went so bad. But anyway, I'm getting off-track. Where was I? Oh yeah, the badness of not telling you about Riley, which nearly ended up in me unknowingly killing you. Then it was your turn to hide things: you decided you were going to leave, but didn't talk to me about it and then, when you stayed things seemed to go okay for a while and we actually discussed all the stuff about Dawn like normal human beings. But, before long, we weren't talking again 'cause I ignored your suggestions about how to stop Glory's ritual. Not that I wouldn't jump again, but I'd at least discuss the other options with you, first... I think. Then - god, the list goes on and I've run out of fingers and I don't know what number I'm on - there was the whole 'my dead-ness' issue. When I came back, it took so long to adjust and I didn't know what to do or anything... and there was one person I wanted - no, needed to talk to, but you weren't there. Can you believe it? The one time I'm actually wanting to discuss serious stuff with you and you're on the other side of the planet... and then I just, I didn't want to have that conversation on the 'phone. Then when you did come back, it was all about rescuing Will and we just never stood a chance. Then when you came back with the potentials, things looked better than they had in a while, but there were still things that you needed to know, stuff I ought to have told you about what happened while you were away, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it... I think deep down, I kind of knew what you'd say. And to cap it all off, we had that humungous row about Spike which is... well, it's what this is really all about, I guess. And before you say anything, I'd just like to remind you that you were the one who wanted me to be honest, so if you don't like this, well... you know where the door is."

Giles sat in silence for what seemed to Buffy like eons, until she could bear the suffocating weight of it no longer.

"Giles? Say something." Her words punctured the stillness, yet she held her breath, nevertheless, as she awaited his response. When it at last came, she could only stare at him in astonishment, her chest tightening as she sucked her breath in further.

His voice was calm and controlled as he replied.

"You're right."


	21. Part Twenty

Part Twenty

"W-what? I... you... pardon? I'm what, now?"

"Right. As in 'correct'." His mouth shaped into a thin smile. "Savour the moment, Buffy. You and I are both aware of how rare this is."

"I... what?"

If he'd been in a laughing mood, Giles thought to himself, he'd be having chest pains right now from laughing so hard at the stunned expression on Buffy's face. She looked as though she couldn't decide whether to be hurt, offended, worried, surprised, amused or dismissive of his half-teasing remark.

"I'm teasing, Buffy." He gently reassured her.

Settling on an emotion at last, her brow furrowed and she looked away from him so he wouldn't see the hurt in her eyes. "So... what? I give this whole 'We May As Well Not Be Friends, If We're Not Open With Each Other' speech and you tease me about it? Why don't you just leave already? That's what the whole 'I'm right' thing is about, isn't it? I'm right that you don't like it, so you're gonna go... just like you always do."

"Buffy." When he received no response to his heavy tone, Giles stood and crossed the space between them to kneel before her, between her feet. There, he lifted a hand to gently turn her head back to his, forcing her gaze to lock with his. "The times I left were for no reason other than that I sincerely thought it was the best thing to do. I was not running away then... and I have absolutely no intention of doing so, now." He paused for a moment as a memory pricked at his mind. "Do you... do you remember that day you witnessed Dawn singing a... uh, particularly depressing, although somewhat relevant, song?"

She let out a bitter laugh. "Remember it? Hell, I can't erase it from my mind."

Absently, his thumb stroked her cheek as he watched her swallow hard against the obvious pain she was inflicting on herself. She half-leaned into his touch, but he didn't seem to notice as he allowed his own recollection to be voiced. "Well... what you missed, was my own attempt at finding a cheerful song... which I failed, by the way. The song I sang was also rather depressing, but the lyrics... well, they seem to be appropriate for us."

"And?" A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips, albeit briefly. "Sing it for me?"

He hesitated for a moment. "I'll try... although I'm not certain I can recall the complete melody... or the lyrics for that matter." He drew a deep breath as he tried to pitch the song correctly.

"Many..." He shook his head in frustration. "No, too high." He cleared his throat and tried again, this time successful.

"Many roads to take:  
Some to joy, some to heart-ache;  
Anyone can lose their way.  
And if..."

"Uh..." he faltered briefly, trying to remember the rest of the lyrics.

"And if I said that we could turn it back -  
Right back to the start,  
Would you take the chance and make the change?  
Do you..."

He shook his head slightly, breaking eye contact as he at last lowered his eyes. "It's gone, I'm afraid, Buffy. I can't remember the rest."

She lifted her hand to cover his still warming her cheek. "That's okay, I know it.. although you do know, that's the second verse, right? It starts off even worse than that. So, anyway... um... Kate Winslet, huh? I'm so not gonna ask." Not giving him a chance to respond, she softly completed the bridge and chorus for him; her voice more an anguished whisper than a tuneful melody.

"Do you think how it would have been sometimes?  
Do you pray that I'd never left your side?  
What if I had never let you go?  
Would you be the man I used to know?  
If I'd stayed,  
If you'd tried,  
If we could only turn back time But I guess we'll never know."

"You see?" Giles inquired quietly, aware that somehow they'd moved a lot closer to each other as she sang and that if he tilted his head upward just a little, he'd feel her breath on his face. By some miracle, he restrained himself from doing so and kept his gaze centered on the rug below his knees. "It really is 'us', through and through, isn't it?"

He sensed, rather than saw, her nod, so he continued. "We keep wishing we could turn back time, make things right... and it stops us from changing what we can today. Buffy..." There was a tone of sadness in her name as he spoke it. "I don't know why we've always struggled to be honest with each other, but I know that I'd like to rectify that from now on, if we can."

"Me too." Buffy agreed, miserably. "I think we lost our way."

"Well..." he looked up, and suddenly wished he hadn't as he did indeed feel her soft breath on his face. "I... er... I..." All of a sudden, words seemed a foreign concept as he realised the depth of her ever-changing eyes.

"Giles?"

Her free hand came to rest upon his shoulder and he had to remind himself to breathe; not to let her show that she was affecting him in such a manner. Think of Xander... having sex. The thought had the desired effect and he found himself able to speak the English language once again. "I think we should find our way again... only... I think there is one issue that we need to move past first. You admitted it yourself that, that's what all 'this' is really about."

Buffy nodded slowly. "Spike."

"Yes," Giles murmured, "Spike." Then, to Buffy's complete surprise, he confessed, "I believe I have several apologies to make."

"You? B-but... I thought..."

"That I'd forgotten about it? That I was pretending it never happened?" As she lowered her eyes and removed her touch, he half-chuckled softly. "Just because I forgave you, doesn't mean I was able to forget it all. After all, what I did had serious consequences... what?" He realised that partway through, her eyes had flown upward again to stare at him in shock.

"What did you say?" Her voice was a harsh whisper as she continued to stare at him.

"That there were serious -"

"No, rewind a bit."

"Oh." This time, when his thumb stroked her cheek, it was deliberate and when he spoke his voice was slightly choked, yet full of love. "I forgave you."

For the second time in an hour, Buffy was struck speechless.


	22. Part Twenty One

Part Twenty One

"Buffy?" Giles watched curiously as she attempted to form words.

Her mouth shaped into a silent 'o', then pouted in confusion before she puckered up for a 'w'. She held that face for a long moment before actually speaking. "W- what?" She chewed her lip for a second, before clarifying, "Why... why would you do that? That's just... that's stupid."

Giles shook his head gently and dropped his hand to cover her clasped hands resting in her lap as he spoke. "There was nothing stupid about it. I just did what I had to - after all, life's too short to bear grudges."

"Ha!" The sound burst forth unexpectedly, joined by sudden tears. Pulling one of her hands from under his she quickly brushed the tears away. "Wish I'd thought of that - you'd have thought that I would have - what with my life expectancy, and all."

"Buffy..." He captured her hand and pulled it away from her face. "I understand..."

"No, Giles." She stopped him before he could continue. "Don't pity me. You're right... I shouldn't have wasted so much time being mad at you... although, you really hurt me, you know? I mean you should have trusted my judgment. So, I-I guess what I'm saying is that, well, um, I was right and you were wrong, but I was wrong, really, 'cause you were right: I was letting my... 'relationship' with Spike impair my ability to see the bigger picture... but in some ways that was good 'cause it kept him here and it stopped the First from getting control of him and it meant that we could win the war. I just wish... I don't know... there should have been some way we could have talked it all over and agreed what to do, before everything got out of our control." Buffy stopped at last, realising the need to breathe. She allowed the deep, steady breaths she took to fill her lungs to capacity; the motion seeming to calm her a little.

"Sorry." She smiled weakly at him. "I just... I want to make things better, but I don't know how. I know you said that you want to apologise, but... but I don't get why. I mean... it was me who screwed up. It was me who pushed you away."

"But, you wouldn't have needed to," Giles reasoned, "If it hadn't been for my selfishness and petty jealousies - and in particular, my failure to discuss things rationally with you."

"None of us were especially rational around that time, Giles. Look at me... look at all the stuff I did, and all the girls that got killed because of my recklessness, and..." She paused for a moment, eyebrows drawing together in thought.

He took full advantage of the moment to squeeze her hand reassuringly. "You can't blame yourself for what happened..."

"I can and I do." She insisted softly, before cocking her head to one side as the thought took form. Staring at him, she found herself suddenly wondering who this man in front of her really was. "What do you mean: your 'jealousies'?"

"Oh, uh..." He withdrew his hands and sat back on his heels, looking anywhere but at her. "I... well, that is to say... it, um... it's not really relevant... o-or-"

"Giles." In a reversal of roles, Buffy leaned forward and brought a finger to his chin, tilting it up to face her. "You said we should be honest with each other... so, come on, let's hear it. What were you jealous of? I can't think of anything it could be, except my so-called-relationship with Spike, which... well, somehow, I don't think so. So, what was it?"

He shook his head, but didn't speak for a full minute. When she nodded encouragingly, he at last - reluctantly - made his confession, still unable to look her fully in the eye.

"It wasn't so much your 'relationship' with Spike that bothered me, as it was your total, utter dependence on him for help in every decision; the way you looked for his support instead of that of those who you could trust. To be specific: it was the way you shut everyone else out of your life and centered all your attentions on him. Part of me tried to be rational: I tried to convince myself that it was your sense of responsibility for his soul that made you act the way you did. But whatever it was, I knew one thing for certain: the people who had believed in you for so long, the people who loved you and who weren't especially enjoying watching you self-destruct were being pushed out of the picture. And, in the moments I was honest with myself, that's what it all came down to. That's why I permitted Robin to do whatever he needed to with Spike. I wanted you to need me again. Not Spike. Not someone whose motive was entirely selfish - soul, or no soul - but someone who had trained, guided and protected you for the better part of six years, and who wanted to continue to do so until his dying day - not for whatever it was Spike got in return, but simply to keep you alive."

He finally looked up at her, his deep green eyes betraying the full range of emotions that were reawakening within him at the memory. "I failed you twice, Buffy. I had no intention of doing so again. I thought that by... eliminating Spike... you would be safer and more focused on what was going on around you - and, at the heart of it, I hoped that as a result, you would seek counsel from me again; that I would be a part of your life - wanted and needed, instead of cast aside - and able to protect you once more."

"But it didn't work." She reminded him, her voice thick with unshed tears. "I saved him and pushed you away."

"Yes." He agreed, with a sad smile. "It's rather ironic, isn't it? The one thing I do to try to bring us closer, set us further apart than we've ever been."

There was a moment of reflective silence and each looked away again as they mused on the truth of his statement. Eventually, a thoughtful murmur from the Slayer broke it.

"I really wish we'd just talked about it. Maybe things wouldn't have gone so wrong... maybe I would have remembered what you used to mean to me, and maybe... maybe we could have worked things out. I mean... it's not just your fault that we lost each other." She leaned closer without realising it, as she spoke. "I should have asked you what was going on instead of just slamming a door in your face. Everything you did that night... it was so out of character, I should have guessed there was something wrong." She paused for a moment, before almost inaudibly adding, "Giles, you need to know that... well, I never blamed you."

"Really?" He lifted his eyes so that they met her darkening grey irises. "But it was-"

"All your fault? No." Keeping their gazes locked, she shook her head. "Haven't you been listening? Yeah, I was hurt and angry at the time, but it's my fault things went wrong... and..." she swallowed against the sensation of tears lining her throat and tickling her nose.

"Buffy?" He lifted a hand to clasp hers, still resting absently beneath his chin, while his whole body lifted and pitched forward slightly so that he was once again perched on his knees.

"I... I shouldn't have said that I didn't need you." A small sniffle escaped against her will, as the tickle in her nasal passages intensified to almost a burning feeling. "I didn't mean it."

"Oh, Buffy...." Still clasping her hand, he shuffled as close to her as possible.

"I always need you, Giles. Always." With her free hand, she wiped away the tears that had started to run free.

"Come here." His voice was warm and forgiving and yet commanding, and she allowed him to pull her into a loving embrace. "I know... I know." He felt her relax completely against him at his words, although he could tell she was still distressed. "It'll be okay, Buffy. We can mend this, you know. I promise."

"I'm sorry, Giles." The words that had waited for so long to be poured out were muffled against his sweater.

"I'm sorry, too." He rubbed her back soothingly.

After a beat, she pulled back, placing her hands flat against his chest and gazed at him with watery eyes, suddenly aware of how very close their faces were. Her breath caught in her throat as she realised how intently he was watching her. "What?"

"I... just..." He swallowed hard, desperately fighting the irrational urge to kiss her, yet making no attempt to move away. If anything, he inched closer, hypnotized by the way her eyes were searching his for answers.

"Giles?"

Barely aware of what he was doing, he lifted the hand that wasn't tightening around hers to stroke her hair, listening as her breathing shallowed as he continued to gradually close the distance between them. "Buffy, I-"

Lost for words, he studied the depths of her eyes for eternal seconds, seeking confirmation that she wanted this as much as he did. He found it in them just before they drifted shut; and, after months of longing to do so, he at last closed the final gap and gently planted his lips upon hers.


	23. Part Twenty Two

Part Twenty Two

"Woohoo!" The yelp of delight came from the excited teen, half watching the shoe being moved around the board in front her, while counting out her money from her last transaction. "That 'eight' takes you to North Carolina Avenue... which means, you owe me..." she paused in her couting, as she checked the rent rate, "Three hundred bucks." With a giggle, she laid down her money and stuck her hand out, letting it hover over the board. "Come on, Xand. Pay up."

With a groan of defeat, he removed his fingertip from the metal playing piece and rifled through the messy pile of 'pretend' cash sitting on the table before him. "You know, you are entirely too good at this. How did you get so good?"

Dawn grinned, not even attempting to be modest about the winning streak she had every time they played. "Not telling." She stuck her tongue out at him impishly, safe in the knowledge that with him opposite her, he couldn't reach over and tickle her. "Actually, even if I wanted to tell you, I wouldn't. See, there wouldn't be any point, 'cause you wouldn't understand."

"Huh? Why not?" Xander's eyes narrowed suspiciously at the teen, before his gaze slid over to the redhead sandwiched between them, who was presently covering her mouth in an attempt to hide her smile.

"Oh, it's just that it'd be a foreign concept to you... what with being called 'studying', and all - ow! You kicked me!"

It was Xander's turn to smirk as he dropped the money into Dawn's waiting palm. "Just because I can't tickle you, doesn't mean I can't get you back in other ways."

"Meanie. Just for that, I'm gonna upgrade all those pretty little houses to hotels next turn. See how you like that."

Willow chuckled at the sibling-like banter between the two, and shared a smile with the slim blonde opposite her. Not for the first time, she wondered if she would fall into the bright blue eyes staring back at her. "You wanna take your turn, Sum'? Otherwise, these two will never stop."

The young woman laughed brightly, her whole face alighting as she flicked her long, wavy hair over her shoulder. "I don't mind - it's actually pretty fascinating; watching you three wind each other up to the point of almost-murder." The sparkle in her piercing eyes danced. "I just can't believe no-one's got hurt, yet."

"Trust me, Summer," Xander interjected, momentarily taking his eyes off Dawn, who was sliding downward in her seat as she tried to reach him with her legs under the table. "If Anya were still here, those two would probably have gotten to that point and passed it already - and we're only halfway through the game."

"Yeah," Willow agreed, "They're both pretty um... competitive. Add in their investing abilities and this wouldn't just be a nice, friendly game of Monopoly anymore... it would be all-out war."

"Isn't it already?" Summer looked at the teen beside her, trying to contain a giggle as Dawn lowered herself to the point of almost-horizontal in her efforts to kick Xander back. Wisely, Xander backed his chair away from the circular dining table, avoiding the socked feet now flailing wildly as Dawn tried not to fall off her chair.

"Um, no." Willow glanced sideways as a soft thump indicated that the teen had failed, and shared another grin with her not-quite-girlfriend. "This is actually pretty tame."

"Oh." The blonde paused thoughtfully and gathered up the dice. "In that case, maybe I should have my go, before things get out of hand."

Willow nodded as she watched Summer roll the dice. "Good idea." As each die tumbled to a halt, the red-head's face dropped. "Or not."

Realising that play had resumed, Dawn scrambled back up to the table top and squealed excitedly again as she realised the 'one' and 'three' brought Summer's hat to rest upon Kentucky Avenue. "Hand it over... um, please." Grinning like the cat that ate the cream, Dawn held out her hand demandingly once more. "Those pretty plastic green things mean you owe me seven hundred big ones."

Willow murmured a soft, "Ouch," of sympathy as Summer counted out her money. "You know, you should join us when Giles plays... he's even managed to beat her a couple of times. It's always a much more sensible game."

Summer looked up with another radiant smile. "Uh, no offence, Will, but as much as I like Giles, nothing on earth will get me to play this with you guys ever again."

Smiling affectionately, the redhead shrugged. "No offence taken. Hey, talking of Giles," she added, this time to Xander, "I wonder how he and Buffy are getting on? I mean, I thought they'd have called by now."

"You know," he paused in his reply and waggled his eyebrows for effect, "Maybe they worked everything out and they're locked in their room." The sudden intense stare from three pairs of eyes bore into him and he shifted uncomfortably on his seat. "I-I mean... you know... talking... of course."

"Yeah, right." Dawn replied with a grimace. "You're gross, you know that? As if my sister and Giles would... would... you know... eurgh." Her grimace tightened, the notion enough to distract her from straightening her money piles. "I still don't get why you think they would... you know... even think about it."

"It's obvious," Willow stated simply. "I'm surprised you can't see it, Dawnie. I mean, think about it; it all adds up: the way Buffy's attitude did a one-eighty when Giles told her he was taking her away for the weekend and the way she's been so jealous of you being with Giles. Plus, you said you caught Giles trying to convince himself he wasn't in love with someone he saw as a friend - and then there's been all sorts of hints that Buffy's got someone she likes, but she won't admit it. Then, there's the way they behave around each other when they're in the same room... you can't say you haven't noticed, it's been going on for a long time: it started out with Buffy-babble - always a clear indicator of a crush or a secret, even if we didn't pick up on it - and her running off all the time, then it turned into a sort of tension which was probably part sexual."

"Eww, gross. Can you not say my sister's name and that word in the same sentence, please?"

Ignoring Dawn's comment, Xander jumped in. "And have you noticed the looks they started to give each other lately when they think no-one's looking? Like the other day, for example, when we went out for Chinese together. Was I the only one who noticed that Buffy kept sneaking peeks at Giles when he was turned away, and that when she stopped, he started doing the same to her?"

Willow shook her head in agreement. "You weren't the only one. I think... maybe the clues were there all along and we're only just seeing them. But.. it's kinda sweet and it just seems... right, you know?" She looked to both Xander and Summer for confirmation, pleased that they were nodding.

"When I first met you guys, I thought they were already together." Summer admitted with a smile. "I thought they made such an adorable couple... I was really surprised when I found out they weren't even a couple."

"Yeah, I'm not sure about adorable, but you're right, Will... it does seem right. Kinda like they were always meant to be together. If you'd told me three or four years ago that they were in love, I probably would have freaked out big time... but after everything with Anya, I've discovered that love can be found in unlikely places and it can be with the people that you least expect, yet it just makes sense and you fit together just right. What?" He looked at the three women staring at him in surprise. "I can't have a little insight every now and then?"

"No," sniffled Dawn, "It's just... that's probably the most romantic thing I've ever heard you say... and maybe... you're starting to convince me. I mean, I saw the looks you talked about - and others since then - and the way Giles looks at Buffy? God, I wish someone looked at me that way. I think I get why you think they should be together... not that it's not icky, but yeah, I get it. Anyway..." She shook off her sentimentality and refocused her attentions on the game, realising that it was her turn and that her favourite street was within her reach. "Back to the game, " she stated firmly, then grinned confidently. "Boardwalk, here I come." She gathered up the dice and rattled them noisily. "Gimme a 'three', gimme a 'three', gimme a 'three'," She chanted, kissing her knuckles for luck. With a deep breath, she flung her hand open, scattering the dice across the board to reveal a 'two' and a 'five'.

Silently dropping her head in defeat to bang it on the table, she only lifted it again when she realised everyone was laughing at her. "Stop it. It's not funny. Stupid tax. Why should I pay taxes? I've got all these lovely little houses, and now I can't afford to buy the hotels I wanted..."


	24. Part Twenty Three

Part Twenty Three

Lord, this is addictive Giles thought to himself as he captured Buffy's mouth with his once more.

A soft whimper escaped her as he nudged his tongue against her lips, requesting entry, and she parted them willingly, inviting him to explore her. Gently, slowly, he slipped his tongue inside, learning the warmth and taste and structure of her mouth and shuddering when the velvety texture of her tongue brushed against his.

God, Buffy...

Feeling a sudden need to anchor his soul, he pulled his hand from hers to join the other currently cradling the back of her head and in response, her hands came up to frame his face as she hesitantly brought her tongue into contact with his again. Tentatively, his tongue began to play with hers, his movements becoming bolder as she responded in kind. He continued to deepen the kiss as much as he dared, losing himself to the exquisite sensations she was stirring within him, barely aware of the long, low moan sounding in the back of her throat until he felt his body's reaction to it. Suddenly realising that things were moving too fast, he slowly, reluctantly broke the kiss.

"Buffy."

"Don't stop," she whispered, as she leant into him, planting feather-light kisses along his jawline.

"Buffy..." His voice cracked momentarily, before he allowed her to cover his mouth with hers again.

"Ssh," she murmured against his sensitised lips, before drawing the lower one into her mouth and sucking gently on it. She felt his hands slide from her head to her shoulders, squeezing them tightly in response, a harsh breath escaping him at the same time that sent shivers of pleasure rush through her.

"Bu-" He tried to work her name out, but the fact that she had claimed one of his lips made it an impossibility, not to mention the giddiness he was currently experiencing. He clutched her shoulders more tightly, trying to keep himself upright without pulling her down on top of him. He tried one last time, this time gently tugging his lips free of hers. "Buffy - we - we need to -" He struggled to retain his focus, his head still spinning from the intoxication of her kiss, his breathing uneven as he tried to speak. "We have to - um - to slow - to slow - down."

She let out a long sigh of disappointment, but nodded, her face still flushed. "I - I know... it's just... you're just..."

The sentence trailed off as, seemingly magnetically drawn together, they leaned into each other again, their mouths fusing together in another long kiss; tongues this time duelling rather then playing, before the kisses became hungry, moving from mouth to neck and back again.

"I - " Buffy wrapped her arms around the man stealing her breath and let her head fall back as he moved southward. He groaned aloud as she yielded to him and, unable to stop himself, his lips led him to the base of her neck, where his hot mouth savoured the taste of every part of exposed skin he could find.

"More..." Buffy's plea came out on a long moan.

Obediently, Giles' tongue snaked out, dipping into the crevices of her collar bone and a squeak escaped her followed by a raspy gasp as he discovered her extremely sensitive spot, turning her insides to jelly. "Oh - oh, God, - Giles - I -" She squirmed slightly on the bed, the effects of his kisses causing the reawakening of something she thought had long died. His lips moved north once more to nibble on the soft skin behind her ear, drawing another squeak from her. "Oh!" Fire shot straight through her as his teeth grazed against a nerve ending and she found herself whimpering once more.

"Giles..."

Before she could speak further, his mouth was upon hers again; his hands suddenly at her hips, pulling her to the edge of the bed so that she was flush against him, one leg on either side of his waist. A low growl rumbled from somewhere deep within him as she threaded her fingers through his hair and returned his kiss with fervour. There came the heady feeling again - heightened when she pulled away and whispered in a trembling voice, "See what you do to me."

Not giving him a chance to stop her, she mimicked his earlier actions, trailing her lips down the side of his neck in hot, open mouthed kisses, disappearing into the vee of his sweater, her small tongue occasionally escaping to taste him, eliciting longing groans from him. She explored his collarbone just as he had hers, and was pleased to discover he had an equally sensitive spot - proven as he released a long full-bodied moan when her lips found it.

"Dear lord, Buffy." The words escaped on a strangled gasp and with great difficulty, he tore himself from her lips. "This -" He struggled to distance himself and drew a long, painful breath. "We need... we have to slow down, love."

"I - I know." She cast her eyes downward momentarily before lifting them to meet his, a small smile of hope alighting her features. "It's just... I think... I could kiss you forever and never get tired of it. Can we... can we stay like this forever?"

Giles chuckled and leaned forward to kiss her lightly on her nose. "That would be nice, but -" he sat back again, "Unfortunately, we can't. We have homes to return to; lives to pick up. First and foremost, I think we should discuss this development." He watched as the smile in her eyes started to fade, and lifted up a hand to stroke her cheek in reassurance. "Buffy, love, I don't mean..."

"No, it's okay. I know what you meant." She covered his hand with hers. "I'm so used to hearing the 'we need to talk' line that for a moment..." her voice trailed off and she shook her head. "But with you... I know it's... you're... you're not going to reject me, are you?" Her words were more a statement of fact than a question, but he shook his head anyway, even as she continued. "I mean... the way you kissed me just then... it was... it... well, uh... wow. No one's ever... I mean, sure, they... but, you know... the way you did it... that was... I just can't explain it. It's like, somehow, everything you think you need to tell me... you just said it."

Surprise shone in Giles' eyes as he absorbed what she was saying. "So you're telling me that in one... well, several kisses-"

"Not just kisses, Giles." Buffy interrupted. "Those were hot kisses... hot, hot, hot kisses." Her eyes glazed over slightly and she shivered pleasurably.

"Yes, well... I..." He blushed slightly at the compliment. "Um... you're telling me that... without saying a word, I've told you that no matter how hard I've tried to fight it, I'm deeply, intensely, indescribably... in love with you and that I want to be with you for the rest of my days?" She nodded silently, her smile growing as he added, "I hope you caught the part where I also said that my whole life feels like it's been waiting for this very moment."

She nodded again, her eyes welling up with tears of happiness as she whispered, "Yeah, I got that... and you know, I feel the same. Totally." She swallowed past the feeling of her throat tightening with emotion. "See, I've been fighting it, too. I didn't know why I was so upset with you - or myself - for so long, and I couldn't understand why I was so afraid of you going away. But this... it's like... it's like the world was all blurry and someone's given me a pair of glasses. It... it all makes sense... and it's like, I knew... I don't know how, but deep down, I knew... that I was meant to love you and that I did love you and that I do love you... and did any of that actually make sense?"

He chuckled again, joy filling every part of his being. "Yes, it did." With a soft hum of contentment, he moved close to her once more and gathered her into his arms. "I do so love you, Buffy Summers," he whispered into her ear before pressing a tender loving kiss to her hair.

She snuggled into his embrace with a satisfied sigh. "I love you, too, Giles." After listening to his heartbeat for a moment, she softly spoke up again. "Thank you for forgiving me, by the way... I still don't think I deserve it, but... thank you." She buried her face into his sweater and kissed his chest through the fabric, feeling his arms tighten about her.

"That's what you do when you love someone."


	25. Epilogue

Epilogue

Swallowing hard against the nauseous feelings assaulting her senses, Dawn listened to Principal Wood call her name a second time. Painfully aware that she could no longer put this off, she stepped forward onto the stage, blinking in the dazzle of the lights and smiling nervously as the audience welcomed her.

Slowly, the teen made her way to the stool in the center of the stage and picked up her guitar from where the stagehands had left it moments before.

Hoping that nobody would notice her trembling, she checked the tuning, attempting to stall while trying to ignore the almost-hush of the packed auditorium.

"Uh... sorry about this, folks," she stammered nervously, giving them another small smile. "Gotta make sure it's all in tune... just a good thing it's not a piano, I guess."

She was relieved when her peers and their families laughed; and she took the opportunity to search them for her sister. It took a fair amount of squinting, but eventually, she found her... encompassed - as usual - by Giles' strong arms.

Dawn grinned, and lifted her guitar strap over her head, deciding on impulse to follow the example set by the previous student who had dedicated a moving rendition of 'Love Me Tender' to his girlfriend.

"Um, before I sing this, I'd just like to..." How should I say this? "To, uh, dedicate this to..."

She stopped again, aware that everyone was waiting expectantly for her. Buffy and Giles? No, too personal. Again, she attempted to work out a suitable dedication.

"To..."

She tried not to panic as she cast around in her mind for the right words to say. To love? Nah, too tacky. Her eyes, adjusting to the glare of the stage lights, found her sister again, who was watching her with an intense but piqued expression. Dawn's eyes slid right a bit and took in Giles, who, unlike Buffy, wasn't watching her. Instead, his gaze was fixed devotedly on the woman in his arms. She nearly decided against saying anything at all, but a sudden movement to the right of the entwined couple caught her eye.

Willow was leaning into Summer, her whole body tilting toward the other girl as she whispered into the blonde's ear while her hand hovered midway between them. It was clear from the entire pose that the redhead wanted to place her hand upon the knee of the woman beside her - thereby claiming her - but was far too reluctant and scared.

Dawn's grin widened and she swallowed past any last ounce of stage-fright she'd been feeling. The words she'd been seeking came to her at last and she appeared completely calm as she spoke. "This is for anyone who's ever been in love but has been too scared to take the final step... and it's also for all those who have been and still are in love. You see, there's one thing you all have in common, and that's, that sometimes it's really easy to forget to tell someone how happy you are that they're 'yours'... which is what this song is all about. So as I sing this, make a mental note to tell someone you care about just how happy you are that they're in your life. Um... that's all." She fidgeted a little and blushed, embarrassed that she'd said so much. There was a spattering of polite clapping, during which she drew a deep, calming, breath, before playing the opening chords. After a moment, her voice joined in, quietly and shyly at first, before growing stronger, filling the room

"Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could have;  
And maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as I should have.  
If I made you feel second best, girl I'm sorry I was blind.  
You were always on my mind; you were always on my mind.

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died.  
Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied.  
I'll keep you satisfied.

And maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times And I guess I never told you: I'm so happy that you're mine.  
Little things I should have said and done; I just never took the time.  
You were always on my mind; you were always on my mind.

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died.  
Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied.  
I'll keep you satisfied.

Little things I should have said and done;  
I just never took the time.

You were always on my mind,  
You are always on my mind,  
You are always on my mind."

There was silence for a long moment, even after her last chord died, and Dawn found herself wondering if they were expecting her to sing more. She lifted her strap over her head and set the guitar down on its stand beside her.

A single clap began, slowly as if the owner of the hands was lost deeply in thought. Another clap joined in, then another, and Dawn whirled to face the audience, her face breaking into a huge grin as the applause gathered and grew. Unexpectedly, the house lights lifted a little and it took a couple of seconds for Dawn to realise why.

Robin's showing me what I've done. If it were at all possible, her grin widened as she noticed couples throughout the hall whispering into each others ears, even whilst clapping.

For the final time that evening, amidst the applause she so rightly deserved, Dawn observed her sister, who appeared to be enjoying an intimate discussion with Giles, and Willow who, it seemed, had plucked up the courage to make a confession to the woman into whose ear she was murmuring. A small laugh escaped Dawn as she noticed Xander for the first time, who was clearly bemused by the attention he was receiving from the teenage girl sitting next to him.

She turned slightly as she felt a small draft of air whispering past her and found Robin standing beside her. He was holding his microphone away from her and he lowered his face until it was beside hers and spoke softly.

"Time to take your bow, Dawn. Well done." He nudged her gently in the small of her back, prompting her to move forward.

Awkwardly, she bowed and offered a soft, "Thank you," to the audience, before the house lights dimmed once more indicating that her time was over.

With a triumphant grin still on her face, Dawn exited the stage, not even hearing the Principal announce the next act, due to the one thought filling her mind:

This is it. I've found my thing.

End 


End file.
